Here and Now
by Owafree
Summary: [Previously called Prequel to Agonizing Pleasure, Ecstatic Pain. This story is no longer a part of that universe. Explanation can be found in the author's notes of chapter 14] Summary: When Eren first meets Erwin and Levi, he feels something that he hasn't felt in a long time: hope.
1. Chapter 1

Erwin watches him with less-than-innocent curiosity. The brown-haired boy looks rather bored for someone who's getting publicly paddled by a fairly handsome Dominant in the middle of a sex club. Almost as if he had only agreed to getting spanked by a stranger because he has nothing better to do.

The boy has been coming to _Ludus_ for a little over a month now. Erwin's been keeping tabs on him in a totally non-creepy fashion. The kid comes in every Saturday night at exactly 9 p.m., always wearing the bright pink wristband that indicates he is a sub who is "free to play."

Erwin watches each night as the boy situates himself on one of the leather couches, watching the various goings-ons at the club. Then, eventually—inevitably—he catches the eye of a Dom, who approaches him and asks to play. The boy always says yes, even though he never looks particularly excited by the prospect.

Erwin just doesn't get it. Why would someone come to a BDSM club _every weekend_ if they weren't all that happy to be there in the first place? He's talked to Levi about it, and has been advised to "just ignore the brat if it bothers you that much." But Erwin can't do that. The boy has piqued his interest, and Erwin is just narcissistic enough to believe that he can be the Dom who would be able to bring the boy to life.

Erwin continues to watch as the boy declines the Dom-of-the-night's offer to go to a private playroom, before straightening out his rumpled clothes and heading for the exit. Erwin watches him go with hungry eyes and tingling hands.

He's a challenge, a puzzle.

And Erwin has to have him.

* * *

The following Saturday, Erwin waits a few minutes after the boy's arrival before approaching him.

"Hello."

The boy looks over at Erwin with a bored expression. Erwin sees his eyes dart from the black band around his wrist, to his arms, chest, and finally to his face. The boy quirks an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. Erwin is not deterred. He is determined in his mission.

"My name is Erwin," he says, extending a hand. The boy eyes it critically before accepting the greeting, reaching out with his own hand.

"Eren," he says in response.

"It's very nice to meet you, Eren."

Eren rolls his eyes before turning away and Erwin tries not to bristle at the blatant disrespect. Obviously Erwin's usual methods of charming the pants off of a sub aren't going to work on Eren. And Erwin is nothing if not strategic. He decides to take a different approach. It's risky, but he has a good feeling about this one. Besides, Eren seems like the kind of submissive who's worth a few risks.

"What are you fucking around here for, Eren?" Erwin keeps his tone measured and his voice soft, so as not to come off as too aggressive. Eren looks back at him, blinking in surprise.

"Excuse me?" Ah, now he has his attention.

"You come in here every week as if it's some great big inconvenience and accept every offer that's thrown your way as if you couldn't care less about the Dom doing the offering. My question is: why?"

Eren narrows his eyes, now looking a little pissed off.

"What I choose to do and not to do is none of your business, old man. So _fuck off_."

Oh Erwin likes him. He likes him a lot.

"Would you like to join me in one of the private rooms, Eren?"

Eren's eyes widen incredulously before narrowing again.

"What are you after, blondie?"

Erwin chuckles at the name, delighted.

"I'd like to play with you," Erwin says simply, gesturing to the pink wristband Eren is wearing. Eren's wide eyes follow Erwin's gesture and stare down at the wristband, as if he can't quite believe that it's there. Eren opens his mouth to no doubt deliver a scathing remark, when his eyes focus on something over Erwin's shoulder. His expression morphs into one of barely concealed horror before he is ducking his head down and pushing past Erwin towards the exit. Erwin turns in confusion, watching him go.

"Eren?"

Rather than acknowledge Erwin, Eren speeds up his pace even more.

"Eren!" It's a different voice calling his name this time, decidedly not Erwin's. He turns and sees a boy with two-toned hair holding the leash of a shorter blond boy. Erwin's not sure which of them called Eren's name. Both of them watch Eren go with wide eyes before rushing off after him. But Eren's already out the door.

So. A new piece to the puzzle that is Eren. This is starting to get interesting.

* * *

Erwin watches the door intently, waiting for Eren's arrival the following Saturday night. He's not sure what exactly it was that he had witnessed last week, and Erwin has a hard time letting things go. Especially when it comes to feisty subs that reject his advances. For some inexplicable reason, he has quite the weakness for them. It's how he got so attached to Levi, after all.

When Eren finally arrives, the boy moves quickly through the room and plants himself on one of the couches tucked into the back corner of the room. His eyes dart around the club, searching. When he decides the coast is apparently clear, Eren slumps back in his seat and lets out a heavy sigh. Erwin quietly approaches.

"Friends of yours?" he asks, knowing that Eren will understand what he's referring to. Erwin sits on the couch a respectful distance away, but close enough that it will be obvious to any other Dom in the room that Eren is currently engaged with someone.

Eren glances at Erwin out of the corner of his eye before letting out an annoyed huff. "I don't want to talk about it," he mutters angrily "and I know that sometimes people say that when they want someone to prod but I really _really_ don't want to talk about it." With that, Eren turns his face away from Erwin to watch as a young girl is getting whipped against the wall. Erwin considers it a win, as it's the most that Eren has said to him at once thus far. So, despite Eren's insistence, Erwin decides to prod anyway.

"Ah, so one of them must have been a previous partner of yours." Eren turns toward him with a scowl firmly in place. Erwin smiles brightly. "Tell me I'm wrong," he says amicably. Eren glowers, looking like he would very much relish the opportunity to murder him. Such facial expressions are like catnip to Erwin.

"Don't you have anything better to do than bother me." Eren says, the question clearly rhetorical. Nonetheless, Erwin decides to answer.

"Yes. I could have you bent over a table and at the mercy of my sub right now, but you never gave me an answer last week. I would like one now." Erwin experimentally injects the teensiest hint of a command in his tone. Eren looks dumbfounded.

"Your _sub_?" he asks dubiously. Erwin grins widely before nodding over to where Levi is sitting at the bar.

Levi isn't currently paying attention to either of them, or at least he's pretending not to. Instead, he's watching as a boy is being led around on all fours by a leash that is clutched firmly in the hand of the boy's Dom. Despite the bored expression on Levi's face, Erwin knows better. He turns his attention to Eren who's staring intently at the thin collar around Levi's neck and the purple band on his wrist that indicates he is "collared, and not free to play." Erwin knows exactly what Eren sees when he looks at Levi. He sees a man who wears the universal indicator for a submissive, and Eren is trying to reconcile that with the haughty manner with which Levi holds himself, as if everyone in this club is inferior to him. Not to mention the fact that Levi also has a riding crop tied to his belt. Erwin decides to answer the question he knows is probably running through Eren's head: _How is_ he _a submissive_?

"He's a switch," Erwin states plainly. "But I don't allow him to dominate me. We've been looking for a potential submissive for the both of us to play with for some time now."

"So you want to have a three-way?" Eren asks. He's still staring at Levi with wide eyes, and Erwin can definitely see some interest there. He can relate. Levi is quite the magnetic force.

"Sometimes. Other times it would be just Levi and the other sub, or me and the other sub. But yes, we are looking to add another person to our relationship." Erwin knows that polyamory isn't for everyone. Often times people get too jealous to share or too insecure to feel comfortable having a third person in the mix. But Erwin and Levi have been together for almost ten years now. They had started looking for another sub about three years ago when Levi mentioned wanting to explore more pain play, but from the other end of the whip. Erwin had watched and instructed as Levi dominated various subs at _Ludus_ , but none of them felt like the right fit. The search has resulted in pessimistic discouragement on Levi's part and fixated obsession on Erwin's. He wants Levi to find the outlet he needs for his more dominant side, as Erwin is just a few failed attempts away from gritting his teeth and making the move to regularly start switching with Levi himself.

"Adding another person to your relationship, like permanently?" Eren asks, though there is definitely more curiosity than doubt in his tone.

"Yes. We're not just looking for someone to play with on a regular basis. We want to find our third part. Someone to date and pamper and fight with and live life with." Erwin hadn't intended to share this much with Eren but the fact that the boy hadn't seemed to recoil from the prospect of a relationship with two other people gives Erwin hope. He stays quiet while he lets Eren process his words. He watches as the boy looks from Levi to Erwin, to Levi and back again. Erwin's stomach swoops at the intensity shining in those green eyes. He feels pinned under Eren's stare.

"Alright," Eren finally says with a casual shrug of his shoulder. Erwin's eyes widen, but he quickly tries to hide his surprise with a wide smile.

"Excellent. I'll go reserve a private room and—"

"No."

Erwin quirks an eyebrow at Eren. "No?"

Eren shakes his head. "No. I don't want to play with you two. Yet. If you really are serious about looking for someone to _date_ and _be with_ on more than a sexual level, then you should start with the date part."

"A date?" Erwin is, to put it lightly, fucking befuddled. But as he considers Eren's words, he feels something click in his brain. _Ah-ha!_ Of course! Maybe that's where he and Levi have been going wrong for the past three years. Erwin grins at Eren, wanting to kiss the boy for his genius.

"Yes, a date," Eren continues, unaware of Erwin's epiphany. Erwin watches as Eren reaches into his pocket and pulls out a business card. "If, after you talk to—Levi, you said?" Erwin nods. "Right. If, after you talk to Levi, you both feel agreeable to a date, call me."

With that, Eren stands and walks over to where Levi is sitting at the bar. Erwin watches in fascination as Eren shakes Levi's hand, presumably introducing himself, and hands Levi another one of the business cards he had given Erwin. Levi says something in return, looking gob smacked. Eren smiles and nods his head, before giving a small wave and walking out the front door. Erwin waits a beat before rushing over to where Levi is sitting.

"A _date?_ " Levi asks, tone incredulous. Erwin smiles widely.

"I know. Isn't it brilliant?"

Erwin can see the doubt in Levi's eyes.

"Erwin, this is kinda odd." Levi looks down at the card in his hand; as if it will provide the answers he is looking for.

"Is it though? Think about it. All this time we've been looking for sex first and connection second when it should have been the other way around." Erwin loops an arm around Levi's shoulders and plants a kiss on his cheek. "It'll be great. Trust me."

Levi rolls his eyes, but there is a small smile on his face.

"When have I ever gone wrong heeding those words?"


	2. Chapter 2

Levi lies in bed looking at the seemingly innocuous business card in his hand.

 _Eren Jaeger. Freelance Writer and Journalist. 314-159-2653._

The whopping thirty seconds that Levi had spent talking to Eren were illuminating to be sure. Levi knows that Erwin had been pursuing the boy tirelessly. He had even broken out Levi's impact play toys that he hadn't used in months, and offered his own hide for Levi to practice on. Levi had declined. He wasn't nearly as optimistic as Erwin was about Eren being a potential submissive and partner for them. They had been searching for years now and once every couple months Erwin would happen upon "the perfect guy." He would rant and rave about some new submissive he met at _Ludus_ or a guy he had found through their extensive network of kinky friends. But it never worked out. There was always something missing from the various boys that Erwin found for Levi to play with. He had tried to explain it about fifty different ways to Erwin, what exactly was missing from all these different submissives—and there had been literally dozens of them—but he was never able to properly express what it was about them that bothered him.

And then there's this kid.

Levi had certainly thought it was odd when Erwin explained to him exactly what Eren expected from Levi and Erwin if they ever wanted to do a scene with him. A date? Really? Who would willingly subject themselves to that? A night of awkward exchanges and never knowing what was okay and what was crossing the line. And it would probably only be worse with three people instead of the traditional two.

Levi thinks it all over as he stares down at that name— _Eren Jaeger_. The boy had been sweet yet assertive. Kind but with an underlying spark that fascinates Levi. Someone who identified as submissive but didn't let that one aspect define his entire personality. Levi is interested in the boy, no doubt. But he's more interested in strapping him onto a St. Andrew's cross and flogging his backside for a good half hour than he is in taking the brat out for dinner and a movie. Levi isn't the dating kind of guy. He prefers to get right down to business rather than dancing around someone and wondering when the right time to make a move would be. That's why he sticks to _Ludus_ the way he does, it's all straightforward sex with minimal complications. Hell, the only successful first date he'd ever had was with Erwin and—

Oh.

Maybe that was it then.

Levi's never really closely examined his relationship with Erwin. Despite their admittedly rocky start, it had been easy, really, to fall into sync with Erwin. Finding a dominant that not only accepted his more abrasive nature, but welcomed it was like a dream come true. Levi had been quite shocked when the tall, blonde, and fit specimen that was Erwin Smith had introduced himself and asked Levi out to dinner out of the blue. He had been so shocked, in fact, that he had rejected him without a second thought. Loudly. Rudely. Right in the middle of a busy coffee shop. Levi had expected a glare and a scathing response, but what he got instead was a wide smile and an uninvited guest at his corner table in the café.

"Piss off, blondie." Levi wasn't particularly opposed to a date with Erwin, but the idea of someone as handsome as Erwin being interested in him made Levi more suspicious than flattered. Despite Levi's attitude, though, Erwin had simply chuckled in response.

"May I at least ask why I'm being so spectacularly rejected?" he asked, grin still firmly in place. Levi scowled.  
"I get the sense you're not someone who is used to being turned down," he spit out, his walls up high and strong against this bizarre intruder.

"I'm really not," Erwin admitted, ducking his head and scratching the back of his head in a disgustingly adorable gesture.

"Well, tough shit. Because that's exactly what's happening here. Now _fuck off_." Deciding that the conversation was very much over, Levi turned away from where Erwin was seated at his table and went back to the book he'd been reading before he had been interrupted with an unwanted invitation for a date. There was silence for a few moments, and Levi assumed that Erwin had finally given up and left. But then a small white business card was sliding down the page he was reading. His eyes snapped up to glower at the sheepish grin on Erwin's face as the man pulled his hand back from where it was hovering over the binding of Levi's book.

"What part of _fuck off_ don't you understand, old man?" Levi snatched up the business card and made to tear it up, but was stopped by two large hands grasping his own. Levi was caught between snapping at Erwin's fucking audacity to touch him without permission, and swooning over the warm, strong feeling of Erwin's hands on his skin.

"Please don't," Erwin said softly. "You don't have to call me—" Levi raised an eyebrow at Erwin's assumption that he had any say over what Levi did and didn't have to do. "Okay, right. You don't have to—just…ugh. Okay, just _please_. Keep the card. Just think about it a bit before you throw it away."

Levi narrowed his eyes at the painfully earnest expression on Erwin's face. He was tempted to rip his hands away and tear up the card anyway out of spite. But Levi was curious. No one had ever tried so hard to get him on a date before. So instead of destroying the card, he rolled his eyes and pulled away from Erwin's grip, before making a show of sticking the business card in between the back pages of his book.

"Happy?" He tried to inject as much irritation in his voice as possible. He couldn't tell from Erwin's pleased smile if he had succeeded or failed. The idiot seemed to enjoy verbal abuse, for whatever reason.

"Extremely," Erwin replied jovially, smile still firmly in place as he rose from his seat. "I really hope I get to hear from you, Levi."

Levi just grunted in response, turning back towards his book to try to cover up the blush he could feel blooming across his face. A few moments later, when he chanced a glance back to where Erwin had been standing, the man was gone.

Levi lets out a sigh as he reminisces. As first meetings go, his encounter with Eren had certainly been better than the disaster at the coffee shop with Erwin. And apparently the boy had been full of that same vitriol Erwin was so fond of when Erwin had first attempted to ask him to play. Levi has seen too many submissives melt under Erwin's charm to not be impressed by Eren's blatant disdain for a man as handsome and charismatic as Erwin.

He rises from his bed and walks over to his bookshelf. He can't help but smile as he pulls out his copy of _The Picture of Dorian Gray_. Now, all these years later, Levi can admit, at least to himself, that part of his reason for acting so nasty towards Erwin that day in the café had somewhat stemmed from the contempt he felt for the beautiful yet heartless character of Dorian Gray. And it was just Erwin's rotten luck that he had approached Levi right as he was reading about a particularly painful description of Dorian's abhorrent behavior towards his fiancée.

Levi flips to page 247 in the book and pulls out the business card that Erwin had given him all those years ago. Erwin doesn't know that he still has it. It would be an endless source of teasing that Levi would have to endure for the rest of their days together. The card is a little worn at the edges from the dozen or so times over the last ten years when Levi would pull it out just to hold it and think back to that first day in the coffee shop. Usually he took it out whenever he and Erwin were having a fight. Their fights weren't ever terribly big or catastrophic, but the recurring one lately over the last five or six years seemed to revolve around why Levi has repeatedly refused to move in with Erwin, despite Erwin's frequent pleadings. Levi knows that couples that have been together for a long time often have at least one or two recurring fights that never gets resolved because both sides are so deeply ingrained in their stance, so he's not all that worried.

Levi looks from the old business card to the new one he's holding in his other hand. The similarity between the two encounters was eerie, and if Levi was a believer in fate he might examine that similarity a little closer. But he's not. And the bizarre sense of déjà vu he had felt when Eren introduced himself and handed over his card was purely coincidental.

Without another look at either card, Levi stuffs them both back into the pages of his book and returns it to its place on the bookshelf.

Levi refuses to see it as cowardice. It just makes more sense for Erwin to be the communicator between the two of them and Eren. He would be the top dominant in the relationship, if that relationship ever came into fruition—which, Levi reminds himself, it probably wouldn't.

He's startled out of his musings when he hears his phone ringing insistently from his bedside table. Levi walks over and lets out an amused snort when he sees the name on the called I.D.

"You're lucky I was already awake, old man," he says, glancing over to clock that tells him it's just after two in the morning.

"Have you called him, yet?" is the first thing out of Erwin's mouth, and Levi doesn't fight the urge to roll his eyes—he rarely does.

"Of course not."

"Levi," Erwin huffs out a frustrated sigh. "I'm telling you, this is the one."

"Oh, because I've never heard that one before."

"Angel—"

"Don't 'angel' me, Erwin." Levi shifts from foot to foot, trying to squash the guilt he feels at shutting down Erwin's attempt to be sweet. "Look, I'm starting to think that maybe this whole search was a bad idea."

"We can't give up after three years, Levi." Erwin sounds exasperated; Levi doesn't blame him. He can be pretty exasperating.

"We're not getting anywhere with it, though. I'm sick of the disappointment." It had taken quite a few months into their relationship before Levi was even remotely comfortable sharing his feelings with Erwin. He still hates making himself so vulnerable, but he trusts Erwin to an extent he's never trusted anyone before.

"This time is different, angel." Levi doesn't snap at Erwin for the pet name this time. "Can't you see that? We've never tried this before."

Levi doesn't have any response to that. Erwin lets out a sigh into the silence.

"Look, if the idea of a date scares you that much—"

"'M not scared," Levi mumbles petulantly. Erwin chuckles.

"If the idea of a date _bothers_ you that much, why don't you try something more casual with just him first? There's no one right way to do this. We can move at our own pace and build this relationship in whichever way feels most comfortable, yeah?"

Levi considers Erwin's words, but doesn't reply.

"Levi, I know how much you need this. I can see it whenever we're at _Ludus_. I can even see it come out sometimes when we play. It's not fair that you're only able to express one half of yourself."

Say what you will about Erwin Smith. He can be arrogant, imposing, and manipulative. But he also can see straight into the hearts of those he cares about. He has a way of saying out loud the things that Levi only tells himself inside his own head.

It's times like these when Levi truly does feel loved by Erwin, even more so than when the man says _I love you_. Levi heaves a sigh and contemplates the numerous ways in which he'll most likely regret what he's about to say.

"Fine, what did you have in mind?"


	3. Chapter 3

Eren tries to look nonchalant as he stealthily moves from machine to machine through the main exercise room at Levi's gym. Erwin had told him that Levi needed a more casual meeting before committing to an actual date. Eren sees no problem with that. Despite the unpleasant undertone that accompanied the majority of his encounters with Erwin, Eren could at least say that he's talked to the man enough to know him on _some_ level. So he could understand why Levi wasn't satisfied after just thirty seconds of interaction.

Thus here he is. Erwin had mentioned a yoga class that Levi attends and suggested that Eren meet him at the gym so that Levi can get to know him in a more familiar setting. Eren had readily agreed despite the fact that he's never done yoga before. But it's fine! New experiences and whatnot…

Eren looks at the door to what he assumes is the room where the yoga sessions are held. The dimmed lights and soothing music filtering out from the doorway are big hints.

Eren moves quickly to the door, not wanting to look as out of place as he feels. He tries to subtly glance around to see if he can spot Levi amongst the various people in the room, but the low lighting makes it hard to see so Eren just follows everyone's example and heads to the back closet to retrieve one of the mats. He picks a spot at the very back of the room before unrolling the mat and settling onto it.

"You're going to want to wipe that down before you use it," a voice says from behind him. "The communal mats get pretty disgusting." Eren turns around to respond and subsequently freezes.

There stands Levi in all of his sculpted glory. Eren had strongly suspected that Levi was hiding a pretty spectacular body underneath all those black clothes he had worn at _Ludus_ , and Eren was right. The tight pants and form fitting tank top show off several of Levi's...ahem…assets.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Eren snaps out of his daydream and focuses on Levi's face rather than the subtle bulge at the front of his pants.

"Er…I'm here to yoga?" It comes out like a question and Eren feels like the biggest idiot on the planet. Levi's eyes narrow in suspicion.

"Why?" He looks aggravated, and kind of twitchy as he stands there with his arms crossed defensively over his chest.

"Erwin said—"

" _Fuck!_ Of course. Fucking Erwin. I'm going to kill him." The two of them now have the attention of the entire room and Eren can feel his face burning in embarrassment. Thank heavens for the low lighting. So Levi hadn't known that Eren would be here today; which means that Erwin is much sneakier and much more manipulative than Eren had first thought. He'd have to keep that in mind for future reference.

"Leave." The command in Levi's voice is clear, but Eren's never been very good at following instructions outside of a scene.

Eren furrows his eyebrows in annoyance. "No," he says stubbornly, jutting out his chin, "I came here to yoga."

Levi's right eye twitches a bit. "Yoga isn't a verb, you imbecile!"

"You're being kinda abrasive right now and it's totally harshing my zen vibes. Isn't this supposed to be a relaxing environment?" Eren's sister Mikasa has always told him that his sass is the thing that would eventually get him killed. He suspects today might be that day as he watches the way Levi's hands tremble in rage before clenching into fists.

"Fine," Levi finally says, voice strained through gritted teeth. "Stay if you want. But don't whine when you can't keep up. This is supposed to be an advanced class."

"That won't be a problem. I yoga all the time." Eren knows he's being a little shit, but riling Levi up is some of the most fun he's had during a human interaction in months.

Levi exhales harshly at Eren's words before strutting past him to the front of the class where a mat is already set up. Eren's pretty confused until Levi reaches over to the boom box and adjusts the music to a lower volume.

"We're going to start in the standing position with our hands relaxed at our sides." Levi's voice is calmer, smoother as he addresses the class, and Eren suddenly isn't so sure if he still wants to yoga. Wait…Levi's the _teacher_? Erwin had failed to mention that rather significant detail. But Eren can't back down now. His damn pride won't let him.

So rather than sprinting out the door, Eren assumes the standing position that Levi is demonstrating at the front of the room. On Levi's cue, he brings his palms together in front of his chest and follows the deep inhales and exhales that Levi counts out for the class. This is pretty easy, actually. Eren's not sure why Levi thought he wouldn't be able to keep up.

Twenty minutes later and Eren is starting to realize that yoga is much more difficult than he had first thought. How the hell does Levi bend like that? Eren struggles to stay balanced in what Levi had called a two-legged inverted staff…whatever the hell that means. Levi rises from his own mat and moves throughout the room, correcting postures here and there.

"Jaeger! Keep your feet flat on the floor." Eren grits his teeth and struggles to bring his toes back down to the ground. "Don't bend your legs, keep them straight. And arch your back more." Eren almost drops to the floor when he feels a hand pushing at his back to bring it farther off the floor. "Keep your breathing even." Levi's voice is much closer now. "In, two, three, four. Out, two three, four. Good. Very good." Eren thinks he's finally starting to get the hang of it when he feels Levi's hand move from his back and down his spine to his ass. He lets out a squeak when Levi presses up and Eren's breathing goes uneven again. Then the hand on his ass gives a subtle squeeze. "Not bad," Levi mutters. This is quickly turning into quite the erotic experience. But before he has time to mull over the sensation of Levi's hand on his ass, Levi is up again and walking back to the front of the room to lead the class out of the pose.

Eren is sore and exhausted by the time the class ends. He ignores the other students rolling up their mats, lacing up their shoes, and heading to the water fountains to fill their bottles. He just lays there on his back, covered in sweat and muscles quivering from exertion. Eren doesn't realize that he's alone with Levi until the older man is towering over him where he's laying on the floor.

"Great class," Eren wheezes, chest still heaving. Levi's lips twitch upwards into a small smirk and Eren celebrates that tiny victory.

"I'll see you later, Jaeger," Levi says before walking out the door. Eren watches with a sense of helplessness front his spot on the ground as he watches the top of Levi's head move throughout the main exercise room and go out the front door.

He's not sure if he'd label this endeavor as a failure or a success.

* * *

Upon entering Erwin's house later that night, Levi wonders what to expect. Thursday nights are usually scene nights for them. He's not sure how much this new development in their "third partner" search is going to affect their usual plans, if at all. He chooses to err on the side of caution as he removes his shoes and leaves his bag by the front door. Once he deems himself ready, Levi wanders into the living room. Before he even makes it to the couch where he's usually meant to wait, he feels a presence behind him and fingers sliding into his hair. It's all the warning he gets before he is yanked to his knees and forced to crawl across the floor at Erwin's feet. The grip in his hair is tight and the pain hits him like a heat wave throughout his entire body.

"Did you enjoy my present today?" Erwin's voice is rough and deep and nothing at all like his usually bright and jovial tone.

"Could have given me some fucking warning," Levi bites out as he tries to muster up the same indignation from earlier today. Erwin tuts and suddenly pain flares on the left side of Levi's ass.

" _Language_. Strike one," Erwin recites as he reaches down to leisurely rub at Levi's cock through his pants. Levi whines and tries to thrust against Erwin's hand but the friction moves out of reach each time he does. Levi starts panting heavily at the torturously slow movements. He feels Erwin kneel down behind him and languidly fold himself over Levi's back. The heat of Erwin's body against him makes Levi want to beg.

"I knew you'd be like this," Erwin murmurs into his ear as he stops rubbing Levi through the front of his pants in favor of working open the button and zipper. "Angry that I tricked you, but turned on because you got to watch him in your class today." Erwin tugs down Levi's pants and his boxers go with them, leaving his cock hanging out with not even the fabric of his pants to rut against. "Come on, little dove. Be a good boy for me." Levi bites down on his angry retort.

Levi both hates and loves their "three strikes, you're out" rule. Erwin doesn't generally have a problem with Levi's sass outside of a scene, but he does want more control over Levi's words and actions during playtime. So, each time Levi is defiant or disobedient during their scenes, he gets a strike. His penalty for each strike is a sharp smack and a very thorough edging. If he gets three strikes, then he doesn't get to come that night.

At the beginning of every scene, Levi has to decide if he cares more about his pride or pleasure that day. It's the ultimate mind-fuck for a person like Levi. Getting to come means giving willing obedience and compliance to Erwin. By holding on to his pride, though, Levi is voluntarily submitting himself to the torturous edging, and Erwin never fails in spinning the situation to make it sound like Levi is asking for denial every time he acts out. Levi knows that this game is all about the power trip for Erwin.

As the sting of his first strike starts to fade, Levi mulls over his options. On the one hand, he wants to push back, lash out, a reaction to Erwin's little scheme today of sending Eren to his yoga class. On the other hand, Levi's plenty worked up from the sight of Eren's body bending and straining and stretching at Levi's command for a full hour this afternoon, and he desperately wants to come. He can't win, and Erwin knows it.

Erwin strips off the rest of Levi's clothing, and Levi hasn't made up his mind yet on whether or not he's going to let himself "strike out" tonight so he remains pliant and docile throughout the process.

"Someone must be eager for my touch, tonight," Erwin says as he runs warm hands over the exposed skin of Levi's back. Levi knows that Erwin is trying to bait him. Usually on days like this when Erwin has severely meddled in Levi's personal life, Levi comes into the scene ready to brawl. He curses Erwin out, spitting insults and fighting back until Erwin has to tie him up in order to do what he wants to Levi's body. But today is different, for some reason.

Today, Erwin did what Levi was never going to do. He had no plans on meeting up with Eren and Erwin knew it. So he orchestrated a meeting himself. Because he knows that Levi needs it, needs the chance to explore his more dominant side and oftentimes needs Erwin's help in making genuine human connections. Though Levi rarely voices it out loud, he knows how much Erwin takes care of him in that regard. It's what makes Erwin such a wonderful dominant—he knows what Levi needs without Levi having to say it.

Earlier Levi had been angry that Erwin had yet again interfered in Levi's life without permission, but now he feels the tender affection that has kept them together for ten years swelling up in his chest. So when he's finally laying sprawled out and on his back beneath Erwin, rather than resist and struggle Levi remains calm and compliant. And when Erwin reaches up to gently stroke at his cheek, instead of jerking away from the soft touch Levi nuzzles into it.

"You're sweet today," Erwin murmurs, not mockingly but almost as if he's in awe of Levi's willingness to bend considering what happened this afternoon. Levi just hums in response, letting himself bask in Erwin's power over him in a way that Levi rarely allows himself to do.

"I love you."

It comes out unexpectedly, especially considering the fact that Levi has only said those three words to Erwin about half a dozen times over the ten years they've been together. The shock on Erwin's face is endearing to say the least.

"I love you too, angel." Erwin crowds close and presses his lips to Levi's. He wraps his strong arms around Levi's small frame and Levi surrenders to the kiss immediately.

Things quickly turn heated and Erwin situates his leg between Levi's thighs. Levi groans and arches up against Erwin, his mind floating into a headspace that he hasn't experienced in ages. Erwin's lips move from Levi's mouth to his jaw and neck, and Levi lets out a small whimper as the sensations overwhelm him. Erwin pulls back at the sound and looks into Levi's face.

"That's an expression I haven't seen on your face in a long time," he says, smiling softly. "My sweet, sweet little dove."

" _Please_." Levi thrusts against Erwin's leg and tries to pull the man closer, despite being pressed so tightly together already.

"It's alright, I've got you."

Levi feels weightless as Erwin lifts him off the floor and carries him bridal style in the direction of the bedroom. Erwin gently places Levi onto the bed, and as he starts to pull away Levi begins whining until Erwin shushes him. Levi's arms are tugged upwards and it takes him a moment to realize that Erwin is tying him down. With a contented sigh, Levi settles into the soft mattress.

* * *

Erwin is determined to keep Levi in this sweet, submissive space for as long as possible. This has been something that's concerned Erwin for a while now.

Despite Levi's more belligerent tendencies outside of scenes, he was a fairly compliant submissive when they first started playing together. He followed orders and was eager to please. He spoke with respect and didn't talk back. He was much like Levi is tonight, warm and smiling and just the right amount of dazed.

About four years into their relationship, things started to change. Levi would bring his snark and attitude into their scenes. He'd be argumentative and defiant, and it had resulted in quite a few punishments that had been just as hard on Erwin as they had been on Levi. Erwin couldn't figure it out. Did Levi not want him as a dominant anymore? Was he tired of their kinkier-than-average sex life? Was he tired of Erwin himself?

About six months after the change in Levi's submission started, Erwin implemented their "three strikes, you're out" rule in their scenes. Levi, predictably, had been obstinate and willful in the face of the new rule. However, after a few nights of edging and denial, Levi had started becoming more compliant again. But Erwin could tell something was still wrong, that Levi was unfulfilled somehow. He prodded and pushed, asking Levi on an almost daily basis if there was anything he wanted or needed to tell Erwin. Erwin had kept at it until Levi made a comment that he wasn't looking to date an armchair psychologist. So Erwin backed off on his questioning, and instead worried from a distance. After about a year, though, Erwin finally snapped.

"I want to help you! I want you to have anything and everything you want and need but I can't help you unless you _talk to me_. I thought we were past this, Levi!"

"Have you considered that I don't _want_ your help? Fucking hell, Erwin. Back the fuck off before I make you."

It was their biggest fight to date. Levi had threatened to leave him, and Erwin had cried. And then Levi had cried and held onto Erwin tightly and promised that he didn't mean it; that he was just angry, that he was just confused. It took another half an hour of alternating between yelling and sobbing before Levi finally broke down and talked.

It took hours for Levi to explain exactly what it was he was feeling to Erwin. It's hard getting him to talk about his thoughts and feelings on a good day. And this was one of their worst.

It turned out that Levi was just as confused about his behavior as Erwin was. He didn't understand why he wanted to try his hand at domination but still remain Erwin's submissive. He didn't understand how those two urges could coincide inside of his brain. As Levi was describing it all to him, Erwin was just watching him in complete befuddlement.

"What?" Levi snapped, mid-rant. Erwin smiled before pulling Levi close again.

"Angel…I think you're a switch." Despite all the worry and anxiety that this had caused Erwin over the last year, he couldn't help but chuckle.

"I'm—what?" Levi tugged away to look Erwin in the eye.

"A switch is someone who enjoys both dominating and—"

"I know what a switch is!" Levi snarled. But a moment later, his face smoothed over as he processed Erwin's words. "Oh…"

"Yeah. Oh." Erwin couldn't stop himself from outright laughing before surging forward to scoop Levi into his arms. Levi let out an indignant squawk.

"Let me down, you barbarian!" he groused, pushing at Erwin's hands and arms.

"No," Erwin replied, serene smile firmly in place. Levi grumbled, but didn't make any other move to escape Erwin's embrace.

"Commander?" Levi's unusually soft voice breaks Erwin out of his daydreaming.

"Yes, dove. I'm here. I'm sorry." Erwin takes in the sight of Levi tied to his headboard and spread out on his bed before he situates himself between Levi's legs, pushing them apart and up so that they wrap around his waist.

"You liked it, didn't you? Having him in your class today." Erwin knows it's not what Levi expected to here, and is gratified by the puzzled expression on his face that quickly reddens and turns sheepish.

Erwin tangles his fingers into Levi's hair and leans in close, lips mere inches away from Levi's. He can feel Levi panting as he strains to lift his head and kiss Erwin, but Erwin pulls back.

"Answer me, little dove. Tell me what it felt like, having him in your class. Did he follow instructions well?" Erwin isn't only interested in the fascinating shade of red Levi is turning or the shallow breaths Levi is taking as he flexes and strains underneath him. Erwin wants to know what this small not-scene was like for Levi today. Not something overtly sexual, a yoga class. But Erwin has watched Levi do yoga and has actually attended his classes quite a few times. There's no way that Levi's dominant side wouldn't relish the opportunity to contort, bend, and fold Eren's body into whatever shape he wanted with just a word.

"It was…heady," Levi finally replies, arms now pulling at his restraints as he tries to get closer. "He did well with some…closer training." That makes Erwin's blood pump hot. There is only a few ways to interpret that statement.

"You touched him," he breathes, completely in awe of the way that Levi is falling apart underneath him while Erwin forces him to relive his class with Eren.

Levi nods his head in confirmation. "Yes, sir."

Erwin grins widely. He brings his lips up to the shell of Levi's ear right before he asks, "How did he look in child's pose?" Erwin has always been a fan of that particular yoga pose. To him, it looks like complete and utter submission. As far as yoga positions are concerned, for Erwin it's right up there with the cat/cow poses and the puppy pose.

"Surreal," is Levi's gasp of an answer as Erwin slowly starts to rut against Levi's hard cock. Erwin has to clamp down on his own impending orgasm when he feels Levi shuddering and squirming beneath him.

"C-close, sir."

Erwin reaches down and grips the base of Levi's cock, holding him off. Levi whines and thrashes around a bit before a warning squeeze from Erwin makes him settle down. Erwin once again brings his lips to Levi's ear.

"I'm going to stroke your cock ten times, and you're going to count each one for me. You are allowed to come on the tenth stroke, and not a moment sooner. If you disobey this rule, you won't be coming again for two weeks. Understand?"

"Nngh… _yes_ sir," Levi sobs out, clearly trying his best to keep from thrusting into Erwin's grip.

Erwin keeps his pace agonizingly slow, and the sound of Levi counting off each stroke makes heat pool in Erwin's stomach.

"… _five…gah! s-six…seven …ah, sir!_ "

"Don't you dare come yet," Erwin growls, and the hand that's still in Levi's hair tightens its grip. Erwin's eyes glance from Levi's beautifully contorted facial expression to his bound wrists. He can tell that Levi is digging his nails into the palm of his hand to keep under control.

" _…eight…nine…oh my god ten!"_

Erwin watches the beautiful sight of Levi coming undone beneath him. His little dove looks so stunning in the throes of ecstasy. Erwin wishes he could capture it on film but in the ten years that they've been together, Levi has never allowed Erwin to bring a camera anywhere near him, not even when they were at Hanji's thirtieth birthday party.

He swiftly but gently removes Levi's restraints and rubs at his wrists, moving circulation back into his hands. One of those hands tries to wander down to the zipper of Erwin's pants but he stops it. Levi whines.

"Mm…don't you want me to—"

"Shh. All I want you to do right now is float for me, angel. You have no idea how incredible you look when you're like this."

Levi's smile is dreamy and sweet while Erwin wipes the come off of his chest and stomach, and Erwin can't stop himself from cuddling Levi close as he settles them onto the bed together.

"Mm...'Win?" Levi mumbles, and it takes everything Erwin has not to gush at how cute that unintentional nickname is.

"Yes, angel?"

"Thanks for s-sending—" he lets out a deep yawn "—mm, sending the brat to my class."

Erwin just smiles, because he knows that Levi will completely deny ever thanking Erwin for that when morning comes.

"You're welcome, my love."


	4. Chapter 4

Eren is wary as he enters the coffee shop, and wonders what he's about to walk into. When Erwin had requested to meet—just the two of them—Eren had agreed, albeit tentatively. Erwin has given him plenty of reason to be apprehensive over the last few weeks.

He spots Erwin sitting at a corner table by a window. It's unfair how good-looking he is. Despite what Eren likes to believe was a pretty convincing dismissal the first time they met at _Ludus_ , he couldn't deny that the man was handsome. However, Erwin's good looks had worked against him that first night, as Eren had been immediately suspicious of his motives for talking to Eren. Eren squares his shoulders and carefully schools his features before cautiously approaching to join Erwin at his table.

"Eren," Erwin's smile seems so innocuous at first glance, but Eren knows better now.

"What do you want?" Eren isn't looking to play games today. Erwin has already proved himself to be a sneaky son of a bitch. Eren's not falling for it again.

Erwin's smile melts off his face at Eren's candor. The intensity of his gaze sends a shiver down Eren's spine, and he berates his submissive subconscious for getting at all excited.

"I guess I'll cut right to the chase then, shall I?" he says, expression not giving anything away. "I need you to tell me what the story is between you and those two boys who were at _Ludus_ that night."

"Fuck you." The words are out of Eren's mouth before he can stop them. He honestly can't help it sometimes. He can get pretty prickly and his defense mechanisms have been on a hair-trigger for quite a few years now.

"I'm serious, Eren."

"And I'm serious when I say fuck you."

Erwin lets out a heavy sigh, and Eren wishes he could say it doesn't make him feel a little guilty. But he can't help the not insignificant swell of shame he feels at Erwin's obvious disappointment. Eren has a feeling there might be a bit of a power dynamic already at work here, if this inner turmoil is anything to go by.

"Eren, Levi may seem like a callous person—and don't get me wrong, he is. But a big reason for that is because he has quite a soft underbelly and can be pretty sensitive to the actions and words of those close to him. Believe me when I say that letting him down in any capacity is devastating, because he's not as unbreakable as he first appears. Before we pursue this any further, I need to know the history between you and those boys so I can determine whether or not there's a likely chance of Levi getting hurt."

Eren lets out a snort. "What, so I'm not allowed to have exes now?"

Erwin smirks slightly in triumph and Eren wants to kick himself for giving away that detail. Sneaky bastard.

"Exes are fine." Erwin concedes. "To say otherwise would be unrealistic and irrational." He pauses for a moment before continuing. "But the way that you reacted to those boys…it indicates that you are not quite over whatever happened between you three. And that's a problem."

Eren looks out the window with a scowl on his face, refusing to respond. Erwin leans forward and reaches a hand across the table.

"Please Eren." Eren's a little startled at the sincerity in Erwin's voice. "I would not ask this of you if I didn't think it was important." Eren glances at Erwin out of the corner of his eye and then down at the hand held open on the table. A peace offering of sorts, he supposes.

It's Eren's turn to sigh as he slumps in his seat, feeling quite put out. He's been doing a spectacular job of blotting out that part of his life, if he does say so himself. And being forced to dig it out is not easy. However, despite his apparent annoyance with Erwin, Eren can't help but respect the man. This is one of the first truly human moments that Eren has seen from him, and it makes him feel marginally better about sharing what he considers to be the worst thing to ever happen to him.

"I have one condition," Eren says. Erwin nods. "I want Levi to be present when I talk about this. If you're going to know this, then you're both going to know it."

"That can be arranged." Erwin smiles at the way that Eren is fidgeting in his seat and glancing at Erwin's hand that's still held out on the table. Erwin prides himself on being able to read people and situations pretty accurately, so he reaches forward and gently tugs at Eren's own hand. The boy is holding his breath, watching their two hands in fascination. Erwin strokes at Eren's wrist with his thumb.

"I can easily speak for myself and for Levi when I say that we both really like you, Eren. And whatever the story is, we're going to work hard to help you through it. We're here to be friends first, and potential partners second."

Eren blushes deep red at the words, frankly a little taken aback. When he left for the coffee shop earlier, he did not expect to have such a heart to heart. Shyly, he gently squeezes at Erwin's hand, enjoying the warmth and the comfort.

"I know I haven't been particularly kind to you…" he says quietly. He hears Erwin chuckle.

"I like your spunk and your fire. There's something remarkably compelling about someone who doesn't immediately like me."

Eren quirks an eyebrow. "You're an odd one, you know." Eren has never met a dominant like Erwin before. Someone who values backbone and gall. Eren's met several dominants that disapprove of submissives whose deference doesn't translate over into non-scene life.

But Eren shouldn't be surprised, considering the kind of person Levi is. Eren guesses that Erwin is very much used to people falling at his feet. It makes a certain kind of sense for him to want something different out of his personal life. Some defiance. Some audacity. Maybe this won't be so bad.

* * *

When Eren walks through the front door of the apartment he shares with his sister Mikasa, he almost turns around and walks right back out.

Because after the kind of day he has had, the last thing he wants to see is Armin sitting on his couch, sharing a cup of tea with Mikasa. He tries to swallow down the betrayal he feels at the fact that she let Armin into their home in the first place.

"Get out," Eren says as he walks through the living room and down the hall to his own room, not willing to say more than those two words to his ex.

"Eren." Mikasa's voice is sharp, and Eren brushes off the reflexive guilt he feels at that tone.

"Yes, Mikasa?"

"Come sit with us."

Eren turns to look at the pair, taking the time to study Armin more closely—something he didn't have the chance to do when he saw him and Jean at _Ludus_. Armin looks almost exactly the same as Eren remembers him. Eren's not sure why that makes him angrier.

"I don't think so," he says, turning his attention back to Mikasa. "Let me know when your guest leaves so I can start working on dinner." Without another word, Eren turns on his heel and heads straight for his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

It takes all he has not to collapse into tears as soon as he's alone. But this is just not fair. First, he's expected to discuss something that he has worked hard to dash from his memory with Erwin and Levi. And now a very real and very solid remnant of that memory is waiting for him in his living room when he gets home. He just can't catch a break today.

So, instead of breaking down, Eren starts up his computer to check up on the writing pieces he's currently working on. Being a freelance writer doesn't pay much, but it pays enough to cover his half of the bills. Plus there's the added bonus of being able to do what he loves for a living. Back during what Eren now refers to as the Dark Days, Jean had talked him into applying for a job at a law firm after graduation. He had said it was unrealistic for Eren to expect to do anything practical with his "useless" English degree, and that Eren should be thankful that Jean had managed to get him an interview at the firm he was starting at. Back in those days, Eren had been under the impression that Jean was looking out for Eren's best interests. Now Eren knows that Jean was, most plainly, an arrogant, self-obsessed asshole.

There's a soft knock on his bedroom door, and Eren's relieved that Armin's visit didn't last long.

"Come in," he says, not looking up from his computer as he does one final editing sweep of one of his pieces. "Hey, let me just finish this and then I'll start on dinn—" the words die on Eren's tongue when he looks up to see not Mikasa, as he had expected, but Armin standing in his doorway. There's silence for quite a while, and then they both speak at the same time.

"Eren—"

"Leave."

"Please just let me—"

"No. Leave now."

Eren's heart is positively racing at the sound of Armin's voice, something he hasn't heard in over three years. The problem with trying to bury the memory of Armin and Jean and everything that happened was that Eren never gave himself a chance to really cope with it, and seeing Armin now is bringing back emotions that he does not want to analyze too closely.

When it's clear that Armin isn't going to move from his doorway, Eren lets out a huff of annoyance.

"You have exactly thirty seconds to say whatever it is you came here to say before I physically remove you from the premises." Eren refuses to let himself feel guilty about the broken expression on Armin's face.

"I just…I wanted to tell you that I miss you, and I'm s-sorry, and that I never meant to hurt you."

Eren scoffs. "Bang up job there. Anything else?"

"I'd really like it if you would join me and Jean for lunch next week—"

Eren cuts him off with a sharp bark of laughter.

"Get the fuck out of my home, Armin." Eren turns back to his computer, refusing to acknowledge the distinctive sound of Armin's stifled sobs as he walks down the hall and out the front door. He waits until he hears the sound of feet on the stairwell before he shoves his laptop aside and buries his face in his arms on top of his desk. He silently curses the tears that are starting to stream down his face. It's only a few moments before he feels the familiar sensation of a comforting hand on his back. He turns in his chair and wraps his arms around Mikasa's waist, burrowing his face into her stomach. Soft hands stroke his hair.

"I wish you would tell me what happened between you three, Eren. I hate seeing you go on like this."

"Believe me, if I told you, you would hate them more than I do." And Eren is positive in that fact. Mikasa's protective big sister instincts are unrivaled.

"Well, you need to talk to _someone_ about it."

Eren thinks back to his conversation with Erwin at the coffee shop. Pretty soon he's going to be talking to _two_ someones about it, and he's not looking forward to it in the least.


	5. Chapter 5

Eren met Jean during his freshman year at college. Initially, Eren had hated him. The other boy was a spoiled brat and a complete asshole. Eren first encountered Jean in his Philosophy 101 class and decided he disliked him almost immediately. Jean was the kind of person who enjoyed hearing himself talk and zealously believed that what he had to say was far more important than the thoughts of anyone else. He would loudly discuss what he considered to be the "impracticality" of ethical dilemmas, and was very much of the opinion that what was useful was good, and fuck everything else. He was a pragmatist through and through. It was not unusual for Eren and Jean to spend class time in a shouting match, arguing the merits of varying beliefs and ideologies. Eren often found himself wishing he could punch the kid in the mouth just to make him shut up.

Despite Jean's distasteful personality, Eren unfortunately saw him at several parties and events. Always stridently lauding his own praises and insulting anyone who challenged him. Eren tended to avoid him as a general rule, and it wasn't until a house party at the end of sophomore year that things changed.

At that point, Eren had recently discovered the magical world of dominance and submission, and it led to him starting to see people like Jean differently. Eren would very much like to blame it on the alcohol, but he can't deny the fact that Jean's cocky attitude and swagger held a certain appeal for Eren's new submissive tendencies. He knows now that such arrogance doesn't necessarily make a good dominant, but at the time all he could think about was Jean's smirk and his mocking laugh and what it would be like to experience both of them from his knees.

Things came to a head when Eren was roped into a game of beer pong by his friend Sasha and faced off against Jean and a kid named Connie. It started off fine but by the second round, Eren was well and truly hammered. So he couldn't totally be blamed for his stupidity when he said,

"Let's raise the stakes a bit."

Jean had raised an eyebrow in challenge and Eren was confused by the swirl of anger and arousal he felt at seeing it.  
"Whatcha got, Jaeger?" Jean asked, tone derisive as always.

"We alternate tosses, just you and me. Loser has to give the winner a blowjob."

Luckily Eren's face already had a pretty healthy glow from all the beer in his system so no one really noticed how hard he blushed when those words left his mouth.

Jean had let out an amused chuckle.

"Wow, you _really_ want to raise the stakes huh? Got the hots for me, do you Jaeger?"

Eren very pointedly did not comment on how true that statement was. He had an elaborate plan in place now. Granted, it was a drunkenly formed plan but a plan nonetheless. He was going all in.

"I mean you can evade all you want, Kirstein, or you could man up and accept the challenge."

Jean stopped laughing at that, narrowing his eyes. Bingo. Eren had never known Jean to back down from a direct challenge. God bless fragile masculinity.

"Get ready to choke on my dick, Jaeger," Jean muttered as he set up for his shot.

Eren grinned widely even as those words sent a thrill shooting down his spine and gestured for Jean to take his shot.

 _Plink._

The ball landed right in the center cup, and Eren tried to fight down the hysterical giggle that attempted to bubble up in his chest. He was very aware of how closely Jean was watching him, and he furrowed his brow into an adequate expression of frustration. He lined up and cocked his arm for his shot…

And missed.

Eren had considered going a few rounds before purposefully losing, but he wanted to be kneeling at Jean's feet yesterday. Keeping up the charade, he groaned in defeat before looking to Jean for instruction. Despite purposefully losing, there was no way he was going to initiate the dick sucking by making the first move. That would just look desperate.

"Well Jaeger, I believe you owe me something." Jean's voice was smug. Infuriating. Perfect.

Eren heaved a put-upon sigh, picking up the center cup where Jean's shot landed and downing the beer in one swallow. He intended for it to enhance his illusion of unwillingness, and maybe also to show Jean what he could do with his throat.

Without another word, Jean crooked a finger at Eren. The heat that settled in Eren's groin at that gesture almost made him stumble as he approached Jean. This was happening. This was really happening.

When Eren was within grabbing distance, Jean reached out and gripped at the front of Eren's shirt before dragging him over to the far wall of the room. Eren's eyes widened in realization and he started to struggle.

"Erm…don't you want to go somewhere a little more…private?"

Jean didn't answer, just glanced over his shoulder with a grin. Eren tripped over his feet trying to keep up and then Jean was turning around, leaning back against the wall. Eyebrow cocked and smirk firmly in place, Jean's hand moved from Eren's shirt to his shoulder and pushed down. Eren was far too stunned to do anything but obey the silent command and sank down to his knees. Jean's hand traveled up Eren's neck into his hair, fingers tangling in the strands. He gave a solid tug as he used his other hand to open the front of his pants.

Eren watched in fascination as Jean reached into his boxers and pulled out his cock. It was a very pretty cock, a little longer than average with a pink head. Eren felt his mouth watering.

"Open up." That was a command, no doubt about it. Eren bit down on a moan and obeyed. Jean grinned at Eren's compliance. "Come and get it."

Eren didn't hesitate for even a second. Now that he was where he wanted to be, Eren dropped all pretense and dove right in, sinking down onto Jean's cock until he felt it hit the back of his throat. Eren couldn't contain his moan as he ran his tongue along the underside and took a long, leisurely suck.

"Shit, Jaeger," Jean hissed, clearly surprised by Eren's skill and enthusiasm. The hand in Eren's hair tightened and Jean started to thrust. Without asking. The ache in Eren's groin was so intense that he had to reach down and palm at himself, just to get a little relief.

"Damn…you're getting off on this aren't you? Kinky little fucker."

Jean wasted no time in building up a brutal rhythm, fucking Eren's face with abandon. He was rough and demanding and greedy and everything Eren had hoped he would be.

"Nngh…fucking take it."

Eren looked up and locked eyes with Jean. Apparently that was all it took for Jean to thrust hard into Eren's mouth and come down his throat. Eren's eyes squeezed shut and he pressed hard on his clothed erection and then he was coming too. It was amazing and mind-blowing and Eren wanted to go again, despite his knowledge that that would be quite impossible for at least another few minutes.

Jean's softening cock slipped out of Eren's mouth and he watched as Jean tucked himself back into his boxers and did up his pants. He was leaning heavily against the wall and panting deeply, looking at Eren in awe.

"Well fuck me. You're quite the little cocksucker aren't you, Jaeger?"

Eren didn't have it in him to get indignant over that, so he just nodded in agreement. Jean smiled.

"We should do this again sometime." With that, he gave a little pat to Eren's head before walking off towards the kitchen. Eren watched him go with astonishment in his eyes. Oh yes, they would definitely be doing that again.

* * *

"Why not, Jean? We've been together for over two years!"

They had been having this same conversation for the last hour and it just kept going in circles.

"Because, Eren. I don't plan on moving in with someone that I have a romantic relationship with unless I am engaged or married to them. Why can't you just accept that?"

"Because your reasoning is bullshit, that's why! You never plan on getting married in the first place and you know it."

"Enough Eren. I don't want to have to punish you but I will if you keep arguing with me on this."

"But—"

"That's it. Over the table. Now."

"Wait, Jean—"

"You're already at ten, do you want to make it twenty?"

Eren's mouth snapped shut. Jean's punishment spankings weren't like play spankings in the least. Punishment spankings hurt, and Eren supposed that was the point. But if he had to pick between ten and twenty he'd pick ten any day of the week.

So it was with a heavy sense of resignation that Eren obediently bent himself over the kitchen table to present himself for punishment. He winced when he heard the distinct sound of leather brushing against fabric as Jean removed his belt from his jeans.

"Do you know why I am punishing you, Eren?"

"Yes, sir," Eren mumbled.

"Tell me why."

Eren let out a shuddering breath before speaking again.

"I kept arguing with you when you told me not to." Eren still didn't think it was fair that he was getting punished for an argument that wasn't necessarily scene related but he had learned early on that Jean made the rules and that Eren could either obey them or leave.

"Precisely. You're going to get ten plus an additional five for not following instructions immediately."

Eren wanted to argue, and it was times like this that he really wished Jean would allow him to have a safeword. He tried to relax his muscles as much as possible. Eren was really glad Jean never made him count.

 _Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack!_

Eren held back his cries. Making any sounds without permission during a punishment usually earned him more strikes.

"You are to listen to me and obey me Eren. I will not tolerate insubordination from my submissive."

 _Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack!_

Sometimes Eren wondered if being with Jean was the best thing for him. Jean was a strict dominant and didn't like it when Eren argued with him, even outside of scenes and play. And whenever Eren brought up the concept of safewords, Jean would get angry and indignant and claim that Eren didn't trust or love him.

 _Whack! Whack!_

"Are you going to defy me again, Eren? You may respond."

Tears were already streaming down Eren's face, and only about fifty percent of it was due to the physical pain.

"N-no, Sir. I won't."

 _Whack! Whack! Whack!_

"Good boy."

Eren heard the belt clang as it hit the ground and then warm arms were wrapping around his chest and waist, pulling him close. Eren immediately relaxed into the embrace, happy that the punishment was over.

"You know I hate it when I have to punish you, Eren."

Eren didn't quite believe that. Not at all, actually. Because Jean seemed to find multiple reasons to punish Eren several times a week. But Eren didn't say any of that. He knew better. So he just nodded and turned around in Jean's arms to bury his face in Jean's neck.

"I love you, Eren."

Eren's stomach still swooped whenever Jean said that, because sometimes it didn't feel like Jean loved him at all.

"I love you too, Jean."

* * *

"What about Marco?" Jean asked as he turned into the Jaegers' neighborhood.

"Your ex? Yeah, no thanks."

"It was just a suggestion."

"And I am rejecting it."

They had been discussing this for a few weeks now, ever since Eren had mentioned possibly getting a third person for them to play with. At first, Jean had been livid, believing that Eren wanted another dominant. Eren had to endure a pretty brutal punishment before he was allowed to explain that he meant finding another submissive, not another dominant.

Of course, once Jean heard that he was all for the idea. So far he seemed pretty keen to call up some of his exes, but Eren was wary of the idea. If Jean had been at all possessive of them the way he was of Eren, then Eren didn't want Jean seeing them again. He was already an outrageous flirt with complete strangers, even when Eren was around. Eren could only imagine what that flirtatiousness would look like with people Jean had already banged.

"Maybe we could hit up some clubs, shop around a bit," Jean suggested.

Eren grimaced at the idea of "shopping around" for a person to play with. Sometimes the way Jean talked about other human beings really made him sound like a sociopath.

"Can we talk about this later when we're not about to sit down to dinner with my family?" Eren asked as they pulled into his parents' driveway. Jean just shrugged before getting out of the car. Eren heaved a big sigh before opening his door and following Jean to the front porch.

It wasn't until after they greeted Eren's parents and followed them into the kitchen that Eren realized how much trouble he was in tonight. Mikasa was there, as expected. But so was Armin. And that was a problem. Eren loved Armin—they had been best friends for as long as he could remember. But he also knew that Jean found Armin to be rather attractive, and that tended to put a damper on things since Jean never made any attempt whatsoever to be subtle about it. Even in front of Eren's parents.

Eren tried not to scowl as Jean strode over to Armin and gave him a more-than-friendly hug hello.

"Eren!" Mikasa launched herself at Eren and caught him up in a hug. He reflexively wound his arms around her while keeping a close eye on Jean and Armin. It was obvious from their interaction that Armin was quite taken with Jean as well, and Eren tried to swallow down the jealousy churning in his stomach.

It's not like he can't see the appeal that Armin holds for Jean. Eren can easily relate, as a matter of fact. He himself had harbored a bit of a crush on his best friend for quite a few years. But that doesn't make Armin's interactions with Jean any easier to watch.

Eren was grateful that Jean waited until they were driving back from dinner to say, "Maybe we should consider Armin as an option."

Eren's reflex was to say no. He didn't like the idea of Jean getting any more intimate with Armin than he already was. But he knew that if he rejected that idea then they'd end up going "sub shopping" at a club and he would have much rather they play with someone he knew, and knew well, than some random at a bar.

"Okay," he replied.

Looking back on that one conversation, Eren wonders how things might have turned out if he had said "No."

* * *

When Eren had first suggested finding a third person to play with, he hadn't necessarily meant finding a third _partner_ for his and Jean's relationship.

But that's what ended up happening with Armin, and Eren should have seen it coming from miles away.

Things had started off pretty casually. Armin would join them for a few scenes, but not all of them. Eren could admit that the dynamic between the three of them worked pretty well. It was thrilling to be under Jean's command as he played with Armin. To be told to kiss here and suck there. To have Jean setting the pace and rhythm of how fast or slow he fucked him. And to be doing all of this with his childhood crush and best friend lent a greater level of closeness and comfort to the whole experience.

Despite Eren's initial reservations, he could say that Jean's suggestion had worked out, and worked out well. At least, in the beginning.

It was about four months after they started playing with Armin that Jean switched things up, made new rules, set new standards. His biggest new rule was that there could only be physical affection between them when all three were present. Eren didn't really feel the loss of not being able to play with Armin alone since they had never really done that before. What hit him hard, though, was the loss of one-on-one scenes with Jean. And more than that, the loss of any physical manifestation of their relationship outside of time with Armin. Suddenly, Eren was no longer allowed to kiss Jean whenever he wanted to. He was no longer allowed to cuddle up or even hold hands with his boyfriend when it was just the two of them. The one thing that persisted no matter who was present were punishments, and their frequency started to skyrocket due to Eren's pretty vocal unhappiness with the new rules.

And, to top everything off, it was during this time that Eren's mother fell ill. The cancer wasn't much of a surprise, considering the fact that both Carla's mother and grandmother had passed away from it themselves. However, the escalation was so rapid and startling that in only a matter of months, she became an inpatient at the treatment center.

Armin was an absolute sweetheart about everything. He oftentimes joined Eren on his visits and would sit with him after returning from the center so he wouldn't have to be alone in his apartment. Armin would make him tea and offer words of support and encouragement. Honestly, a lot of the time Eren felt that Armin was a better boyfriend than Jean. He listened to Eren and let him vent without interruption, and he never blamed Eren for his moods and behaviors following a visit to the center.

Jean was not quite so understanding. He refused to accompany Eren on his visits, claiming it was far too upsetting for him. And then, one night after a particularly distressing visit with his mother, Jean had walked into Eren's apartment to find Armin holding Eren on the couch as he cried. Jean absolutely lost it. Eren had never seen him so angry. The punishment had been the worst to date, so bad that Jean even apologized the next morning for it.

Eren wasn't sure why Armin stuck around after that night, especially considering the fact that Eren himself was debating whether or not _he_ should stick around. He had been spending more and more time online, researching polyamory and how BDSM could influence and play into polyamorous relationships. During all this research, Eren started to realize that their lack of a safeword was troubling and even unacceptable for several people in the scene. There was one article he had read that asserted, "If your dominant insists on not having a safeword, run away as fast as you possibly can."

But Jean had been so sweet the next morning, so apologetic to both Eren and Armin. He made them breakfast in bed, and spent the rest of the day bringing them icepacks and rubbing arnica cream on their various bruises. He had even offered to come with Eren during his next visit to the treatment center.

That visit never came.

* * *

She was gone. Dead.

Once the time of death had been announced, Eren left the center. In his mind, there was no reason to stay, despite the protestations of his father and sister. He couldn't be there another minute. There was only one place that he wanted to be right now, and that was in Jean's arms. Despite Jean's insistence that there be no physical affection or play unless all three of them were present, Eren felt that maybe Jean would make an exception just this once.

Eren was relieved when he saw Armin's car parked in front of Jean's apartment building. If they were both here then there was nothing standing in the way between him and the comfort he desperately needed.

He took the stairs two at a time, digging out his key to Jean's apartment from his pocket as he went. By the time he got to the front door, the shock of his mother's passing was just starting to lift and the tears were beginning to fall. The only thing that Eren could think was that once he got inside the door, he would be safe to break down completely. His hands trembled as he unlocked the door.

Despite Eren's attempts to block out what happened from his memory over the next few years, the events of this one night persistently replayed over and over in his mind for months afterwards.

There, in the middle of Jean's living room, were Jean and Armin. Fucking. It was almost animalistic in nature and Eren's heart clenched as he thought back to how Jean used to handle him before Armin came into the picture.

Armin was trussed up in knots of rope and bent over the armrest of the couch. It took both of them a moment to realize that they were no longer alone. When they finally looked up and saw Eren standing in the doorway, their faces were twin expressions of shock.

"Eren…"

Jean's voice snapped Eren out of his horrified daze and without a word to either of them, he turned and fled.

He made it down the first flight of stairs before he heard footsteps chasing after him. Considering Armin's current predicament, Eren could only assume that it was Jean following him down the stairwell. Later, when Eren had learned a little more about proper BDSM etiquette like safewords and hard limits, he was disgusted that Jean had so thoughtlessly left Armin tied up in his apartment with the door unlocked and possibly cracked open.

"Eren! Come back here this instant!" He could tell that Jean was trying to use his dom voice to compel Eren to obey, but Eren's compliance with Jean's rules and standards snapped the moment he saw Jean and Armin together like that.

Eren was in his car and starting the ignition when he saw Jean jump the last three steps and stumble over towards the passenger door. Eren put the car in drive and prepared to peal out but Jean jumped in front of the car with his hands raised. Eren didn't hesitate to rev the engine menacingly, even letting off the brake momentarily so the car would jerk forward, and Jean dove out of the way. Taking advantage of the distraction, Eren pulled away from the curb and sped off towards home.

* * *

It took several months of phone calls and attempted visits at Eren's apartment before Jean and Armin started to finally give up. Eren suspected it had something to do with the fact that he had moved in with Mikasa, and despite Jean's bravado, Eren knew that he was absolutely terrified of her.

The attempts at contact tapered off until it was just a text message or e-mail every few months, usually from Armin. Eren didn't even read them, deleting them immediately once he saw Armin's name.

Eren knew rationally that ignoring the problem and shoving it back into the recesses of his mind was not the best way to cope with the situation. But he wasn't sure how exactly one was _supposed_ to cope after finding out that his enemy-turned-boyfriend of over three years was secretly fucking his best-friend-turned-boyfriend behind his back. These weren't exactly typical circumstances.

So Eren ignored it. He quit his job at the law firm right away, not wanting to see Jean at work, and started working on writing samples to show potential employers. Now that he was cut loose from Jean, he was going to do all the things that he didn't let himself do while they were together. He was going to become a writer, just like he had always wanted. He was going to properly study BDSM and its intricacies. And he was going to play with whomever he wanted whenever he wanted because Eren was slowly but surely coming to the realization that what he had with Jean didn't follow the standard guidelines of most BDSM relationships.

He learned about the holy trinity of play being safe, sane, and consensual; and he discovered that safewords were practically requisite for any proper BDSM relationship. The word _abuse_ floated around in his mind for a while as his subconscious tried to compare what he had with Jean to what he was learning about now, but he didn't let himself dwell. That was the whole point of throwing himself into his new life headfirst. Not dwelling was how he was going to forget about Jean, forget about Armin, and forget about the fact that he had wasted three years of his life groveling at the feet of a sociopath.

When Eren had first started going to clubs that catered to more specific tastes, he discovered the wide world of kinks and fetishes that existed within the larger umbrella of BDSM. He experimented and explored and refined his preferences and interests. He encountered Doms and Masters and Daddies, he met subs and slaves and boys and pets. He had even let one guy put him in diapers and while the experience hadn't been necessarily unpleasant, he wasn't sure he could enjoy it in a sexual context.

Years of discovery and investigation finally landed him in _Ludus_. He had avoided things like contracts and commitments and anything more than a one-night stand thus far, and he was starting to get bored. There were only so many casual scenes he could have before realizing that he wanted something more. Understandably, he was a little scared. While he now had a much better understanding of what made a good dom and a bad dom, he wasn't sure what to expect from a long-term relationship with someone who wasn't a self-obsessed, abusive asshole.

When Erwin had first approached him, Eren had immediately gone on the defensive. He generally stayed away from doms who reminded him at all of Jean, and Erwin's self-assured smile and somewhat cocky swagger put him on high alert. But when Erwin started talking about his sub, Eren couldn't help his curiosity. Over the years, he had met several triads of polyamorous people who played together. He'd always been wary, but something about it inevitably piqued his interest. It wasn't until Erwin started talking about one-on-one scenes that Eren really got drawn in. He could easily admit that that had been the reason he gave Erwin and Levi his card.

Eren was disappointed in himself that he hadn't been able to immediately identify Levi as a switch and not a regular sub. He had met several switches over the last few years, after all. But he could honestly say that he had never met a switch who both wore a collar—the universal symbol of a submissive—and wielded a riding crop at the same time. And there was something about the way Levi held himself that Eren felt he could relate to.

It took Eren a little longer to warm up to Erwin. The man shared a few too many of Jean's character traits for Eren to be completely trusting. But when Erwin had explained why he needed to know Eren's story, it had touched something deep inside of him. Because Eren had never known Jean to be so considerate of someone else's feelings, even Eren's. And the fact that Erwin took the time to show that side of himself to Eren was quite moving.

Somehow, Erwin and Levi had managed to draw Eren out of his depressed funk, opening him up once more to the kind of relationships and connections that he craved so much. It felt like he was poised at the edge of a cliff, and if he could just let himself fall, he might find himself landing into true, unrivaled bliss.


	6. Chapter 6

Levi is at a loss. As he watches Eren's hunched over form sitting on Erwin's couch, Levi wonders why exactly Eren wanted him here for this in the first place. Let's be real, Levi isn't exactly the first person most people call when they are in some kind of emotional distress and need to unload. Well…except for Erwin maybe. But Erwin tells Levi everything so it was completely diff—

Oh…there it is again.  
Levi knows that Erwin has some experience when it comes to polyamorous relationships. But Levi himself has none. Hell, he barely has any experience with romantic relationships at all. It was the oddest feeling when Levi and Erwin had been dating for a year and Levi had suddenly and all at once realized that the older man had stealthily wormed his way into Levi's life and heart.

As Levi sits here, watching Eren slowly fall apart in the aftermath of reliving such a painful part of his past, Levi can honestly say that he has no idea what to do. He glances over to where Erwin is sitting, and is surprised when Erwin gestures for him to join Eren on the couch.

Hesitant, but knowing that Erwin has better instincts than him when it comes to interpersonal relationships and human interaction, Levi rises from his seat and makes his way over to where Eren has effectively curled himself into a protective ball. Levi can see the way Eren's shoulders are shaking unsteadily from the silent sobs he's obviously trying his best to hold in. When Eren registers that someone is sitting next to him, his entire body freezes up, like a small animal that's been confronted with a much larger predator.

Not wanting to startle the boy, Levi slowly raises a hand and places it on Eren's back between his shoulder blades. It's much like the way that Erwin comforts Levi whenever he's has had a horrible day and needs to vent. Of course, Erwin is never this reluctant or unsure of himself. And usually at this point, Erwin will say something to make him feel better. Levi gives it a try.

"You should stop crying."

Well, shit. Give him a break, though. It's not like Levi ever made a claim to being good at this kind of stuff.

His words must register somewhere in Eren's mind, because the boy slowly raises his head to look at Levi. Eren just sits there watching him, and Levi guesses that's his cue to continue.

"That shithead doesn't deserve to have you cry over him."

Levi's also not very good with gentleness unless he's dealing with animals.

Luckily, Erwin decides that it's his turn to join them on the couch and say his piece.

"Levi's right, Eren."

Well that's not what Levi had been expecting Erwin to say.

Much to Levi's surprise, Eren responds by curling into Levi and tucking his head under Levi's jaw. Levi looks to Erwin with wide and bewildered eyes, but the idiot just grins broadly at him. Eren lets out a grunt and reaches back to grab onto Erwin—his arm—and drags the other man into the cuddle pile. Erwin looks a little surprised himself but not at all disappointed with the turn of events, and within moments the three of them are just a ball of warmth and comfort. They just sit there on the couch for several minutes, and Levi lets himself relax into the arm that Eren has wrapped around his middle and the hand that Erwin has draped over his shoulders. Of course, it's right when he starts to close his eyes and truly settle into the embrace that Erwin decides to speak.

"Would you like to join us at _Ludus_ this weekend, Eren?"

Levi's eyes fly open in surprise at Erwin's words. He can't decide whether he wants to sigh in relief at the mention of returning to such familiar territory or if he wants to smack Erwin in the back of the head. Eren had explicitly stated that he wasn't interested in playing with Levi or Erwin until after a first date. Can any of Eren's meetings with either of them so far be classified as a first date? Or is it the totality of it all that matters? Levi certainly hopes so, because he's been quietly dreading the kinds of things that a "date" would entail.

Eren's voice is small and soft when he responds to the question, and Levi wonders fleetingly if this is what Eren sounds like when he's in a submissive headspace.

"I'd…um. I'd really like that."

Surprise after surprise today, Levi supposes. Even after his quasi- success with comforting Eren, Levi will never claim to understand how emotion-fueled human interaction works.

* * *

Eren is nervous as he approaches the entrance to _Ludus_ with Levi and Erwin in tow. Not only has it been a few weeks since he last came here, but now he's arriving with a handsome couple. The two of them surreptitiously lag a few steps behind him, leaving him to muddle through which wristband to take. After scrambled thoughts and a pointed cough from the greeter, Eren selects a blue band, which indicates that he is 'here for observation only and not free to play'.

It's not until he watches as Levi and Erwin both take a blue wristband as well that Eren realizes they had very much intended for him to select first. They're letting him set the pace. The thought sparks an unfamiliar but contented sense of warmth in Eren's stomach.

Erwin and Levi continue to let Eren take the lead, following him throughout the room. It's a bit odd, but Eren understands their wanting to make tonight all about Eren and what he wants.

Eren decides to lead them to one of the couches, the one that allows the occupant a full view of the goings on at the rope station. As his two shadows for the night settle on either side of him, Eren watches—fascinated—as a young woman suspended on a St. Andrew's cross is flogged on the front of her torso by her dom. The wide and slightly dopey grin on her face speaks of her enjoyment, and Eren can't help a small smile of his own.

As Eren watches the woman's skin progress from a light pink to a darker red, he contemplates the two men sandwiching him on the couch.

He hasn't known them for a particularly long time. But Eren honestly doesn't know how long is long enough. He likes to think that he had known Jean for a fairly long time before they had started playing together, and look how that ended. And he had known Armin since they were kids but apparently even that kind of sacred bond wasn't safe from betrayal. So how can Eren know for certain that he won't get hurt again?

Answer: he can't.

But he can ask a romantic D/s couple who have been together a long time about their experience. That is certainly an option.

"How long after you two met did you start playing?" he asks out of nowhere. He tries to stifle the grin that threatens to spread across his face at the slightly startled look on both Levi and Erwin's faces.

It's fascinating watching how Levi and Erwin can communicate so seamlessly without even using words. There's obviously some exchange of information because Levi starts talking.

"I brought up my...inclinations to Erwin on our second date. At that point I was still pretty suspicious of him as a human being in general. I guess you could say I was testing him." It's dark in the club but not too dark for Eren to see the slight blush that spreads across Levi's cheeks. Adorable. "But when I mentioned it, Erwin just…just fucking _glowed_." There's a slight pout on Levi's face, like he still can't believe after all these years how he had failed to scare Erwin away.

"It was like Christmas had come early," Erwin continues the story. "I was already quite captivated by him, and then right there in the middle of the restaurant he says 'so if we end up fucking you should know that I like to be slapped around and forced to choke on cock.'" Erwin has a wistful look on his face, like he's recalling a fond memory. Eren supposes he probably is. If there's one thing that Eren has learned about Erwin over the last few weeks, it's that for some reason the man is attracted to blunt personalities and people who can see straight through the charming smile and flattering words. The fact that Levi had so candidly discussed his sexual preferences was probably very exciting for Erwin.

"The idiot had the audacity to ask me over to his place when the date was over," Levi grumbles, apparently having recovered from his earlier pouting.

"What did you say?" Eren asks. Because Eren is slowly learning that as much as Erwin is attracted to Levi's directedness, Levi is just as attracted to Erwin's infallible perseverance. Eren gets the impression that Levi isn't used to people fighting so hard to be in his life. And he seems to be both silently elated and outwardly disgruntled that Erwin has managed to hang on so tightly for so long.

"He said yes," Erwin answers Eren's earlier question, as it's clear from Levi's tight-lipped silence that he isn't going to even acknowledge it.

"What made you decide that you were ready?" Eren asks Levi, curious about the man's feelings on the matter.

There's a scowl firmly plastered on Levi's face, and he's looking off to the side, refusing to make eye contact. But he answers Eren's question.

"I came to the conclusion that he might be worth it." The words are mumbled, and Levi's voice is low, but Eren hears the words regardless.

The ride home is quiet, but not in an uncomfortable way. Somehow Eren has ended up in the back seat with Levi with Erwin driving up front.

Eren doesn't know if it's the late hour or some kind of emotional break through from their night out, but minutes after the car had left the parking lot of _Ludus_ , Levi had slid over to sit next to Eren and settled against him, gently taking Eren's hand in his own. He didn't say anything to Eren, didn't even look at him. Simply stared out the window, a faint blush in his cheeks. Eren's unsure how to react now, and is almost scared to shift in his seat at all; as if any disturbance in the air might make Levi retreat back to the other side of the car.

Erwin catches Eren's eye in the rearview mirror, and Eren can tell that the other man is smiling. Truthfully, Eren himself is fighting the urge to grin like a loon. Despite all appearances to the contrary, Levi is quite cute.

Eren feels like he's about to drop off to sleep by the time Erwin is pulling into his apartment complex. When Erwin puts the car in park, Levi leans in and pecks Eren on the cheek before withdrawing completely and curling into a ball on the other side of the car.

Eren smiles, giddy from the small display of affection.

"Goodnight Levi," he says as Erwin opens the door for him. Eren just gets a grunt in response. Eren's grin widens.

"I'll walk you up," Erwin says, charming smile in place.

Eren narrows his eyes in suspicion but still accepts the arm Erwin is offering him, placing a tentative hand in the crook of Erwin's elbow.

Rather than being offended at Eren's obvious hesitance, Erwin instead seems to be rather amused.

"Why are you so attracted to people who don't like you?" he blurts out as they start ascending the stairs to Eren's floor. He doesn't miss the small smirk now gracing Erwin's face. Eren's heart starts to race at the sight of it.

"Are you sure you want the answer to that?" Erwin asks, voice deep and rough in a way that Eren has never heard before. Eren feels the distinct _zing_ of a shiver racing down his spine. He swallows, squaring his shoulders and not looking Erwin in the eye as they approach his front door.

"Yeah, why not?" Eren says, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. He turns and leans back against the door, arms crossed over his chest in an almost defensive manner.

The way that Erwin is looking at him right now is intense to say the least. It's a side of him that Eren only glimpsed briefly when they were at the coffee shop. But now, there's no table separating them. Nothing to stop Erwin from stepping forward and crowding his space. So that's exactly what he does.

Everything is quiet and still, and Eren realizes that Erwin is giving him time to push him away if he so chooses. Eren stays pointedly silent, even melting back into the door a bit, knees weak from the overwhelming presence that is Erwin Smith.

Erwin's smile is shark-like, making Eren feel like he's at the mercy of some kind of apex predator rather than another human being. The effect is quite heady to say the least.

"Charisma can evoke many different forms of behaviors from different people. Sometimes it manifests as compliance to another's will, sometimes it is distrust or avoidance." As Erwin speaks, he traces his fingers along Eren's hand and up his arm, until he's gently gripping him by the back of the neck. "And then there is the rare creature who exhibits _both_." Erwin's other hand has wound its way around Eren's waist, and Eren finds himself somehow both pinned to the door behind him and tightly pressed up against Erwin in front of him. Eren's heart is beating so hard that he's sure Erwin can feel the vibrations of it in his own chest. " _You_ exhibit both, Eren. You see through the mask of charming smiles and polite flattery. A mask that I have worked to perfect over the years to what it is today. You recognize what's hidden beneath those layers, and you react almost defensively, like you're suspicious of some kind of trap."

Erwin's words drop down to a whisper, until it feels like he's breathing them into the skin of Eren's neck. "But if the way you felt towards me ended there, then I never would have had the privilege of getting your number that night at _Ludus_. Because there is a second part. Waiting underneath similar layers of your _own_ mask. And that second part craves the kind of dominance that I can give you. Not because you have fallen for the sweet, gentle persona that Erwin Smith appears to be. But because you _know,"_ the word almost sounds like a growl and the intimidation that Erwin is pressing upon him is intoxicating, like nothing Eren has ever felt before. "You know—deep down in the part of your mind that feels the call of submission like a beacon of brightly burning desire—that I will utterly, relentlessly, and gleefully _wreck_ you."

Eren feels like Erwin has sliced him open on a table under a bright light and thoroughly perused his insides. Somehow this man—a man that Eren knows he feels an attraction towards, but still isn't completely sure he actually _likes_ —has managed to see inside his mind and put his emotions, wants, and needs into words that have knocked Eren onto his figurative ass.

"Have a good night, Eren. I'll see you later." With that, Erwin presses a chaste kiss on Eren's forehead before turning and descending the stairs to the ground level, leaving Eren to ponder and puzzle over what just happened.


	7. Chapter 7

Erwin refuses to believe that he is being at all creepy.

Even though he kind of is.

But it's not his fault that he has a bit of a voyeurism kink. And even then it only really applies to Levi, and apparently now to Eren as well.

Erwin can't help his small smirk of amusement as he watches through the wall-sized window looking into the class the way that Levi corrects Eren's posture into a certain pose or another. Not wanting to look too out of place, Erwin has set up camp at one of the various exercise machines throughout the gym, and he knows that he's only a few minutes away from a gym employee approaching and telling him that he needs to let other people have a chance to use it.

But for now he refuses to budge, because Eren is in downward dog at the moment, and Levi is tugging the boy's hips back so his feet are pressed flat against the ground. Levi has paid an inordinate amount of attention to Eren during this particular yoga class, and Erwin suppresses a smug smile. He loves Levi dearly, but it's times like this that the _'I told you so'_ impulse rests heavily on the back of Erwin's tongue.

He's not sure how much longer he sits there, just watching the two of them. Even when Levi moves back to his mat at the front of the room to continue, Erwin can still see the way his eyes keep darting over to Eren and the flush that rises on Levi's cheeks as Eren transitions into pose after pose on his command.

Erwin's just starting to slip off into a daydream starring Levi and Eren doing yoga naked, when his thoughts are interrupted by a very familiar voice.

"You're a fucking pervert, you know that?" Levi's harsh tone only stokes the fire resting low in Erwin's stomach.

Erwin smiles at his lovely little angel encased in spandex and shiny with sweat.

"I thought you might like for me to take you to lunch before your next class starts," Erwin says with a grin that Levi would never fall for in a million years. Levi lets out a scoff.

"I'm sure that's why you're disguised in gym wear and sitting here practically jerking yourself to a yoga class." Despite Levi's apparent disdain, Erwin is well trained in spotting his little tells. Like the tiny amused smirk tugging at his lips or the flush of pleasure on his cheeks at seeing Erwin here waiting for him. Rather than point out any of this, Erwin simply rises from the machine he has long since stopped using and escorts Levi to the gym entrance. He doesn't miss the dirty look that one of the gym patrons shoots his way when he finally vacates the leg press.

"So I see Eren is still attending your sessions?" Erwin says as he opens the passenger-side door for Levi. The other man rolls his eyes but slides into the seat without complaint.

Levi doesn't answer his question until Erwin is in his own seat and starting the car.

"I told him to come back to the class," Levi says, looking out the window. Erwin tries not to let his excitement show too much.

"You contacted him?"

Levi's eyes slide over to look at Erwin, narrowed and daring him to spit out that _'I told you so'_ that's been threatening to bubble over for a while now.

"Yes," is the only answer that Erwin gets in response.

He decides to leave it alone for now.

"So, where do you want to go for lunch?"

* * *

When Eren gets home from Levi's yoga class, he's surprised to see Mikasa sitting at their kitchen table, eating lunch.

"Shouldn't you be at work?" he asks, retrieving an apple from the refrigerator before joining her.

"Office flooded. Some idiot never learned how to properly use a toilet." Her nose wrinkles in disgust. "I'm working from home until it's fixed."

That makes Eren smile. He knows that Mikasa loves her job. But it's nice to have her home for a bit.

As they both eat though, Eren can see Mikasa fidgeting in her seat and stealing quick glances in his direction.

"What is it?" he asks.

Mikasa is quiet, as if contemplating whether or not she should speak.

"C'mon. Out with it."

Mikasa lets out a long sigh before answering.

"Jean came by while you were out."

And just like that, pure, unadulterated _fear_ floods Eren's body. His chest suddenly feels tight, and his breathing becomes shallow and labored.

"Eren…" the feeling of Mikasa's hand holding his own grounds him a bit and he's able to focus on her again.

"What did he want?" The words are quiet, almost a whisper. Like he's scared that speaking too loud will alert Jean to his presence here.

"Apparently he was concerned. He said he saw you at the club last weekend and that you were with, and I quote, 'two men who are far older than Eren would know what to do with.'"

Eren wants to be angry that Jean would have the audacity to assume that he knows what is and isn't best for him. But instead he feels an unexpected painful sense of shame. It comes on, unbidden, to drag Eren back to the days when Jean could make him feel ashamed of his choices and his feelings.

It makes Eren want to punch a wall. Or Jean's face. Or maybe put Jean's face through a wall. Yeah, that'd be nice.

"Did he say anything else?" Eren wishes he didn't care. He really does.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Mikasa seems wary, like she's looking for further signs of the oncoming panic attack she had managed to pull him out of, if momentarily.

"Yes."

"He said…" Mikasa bites her lip, clearly reluctant to continue. "He said that he was disappointed and that if you feel like apologizing you know where to find him."

And for a moment, just a moment, that's exactly what Eren wants to do. As much as he hates it, there is a small part of him—miniscule, really—that still wants Jean's approval and praise. Eren's not sure why three years hasn't been sufficient in wiping that out of his mind. Maybe suppressing those memories had done more damage than he originally thought.

"I'll be in my room," he says, rising from his seat at the kitchen table. Eren doesn't wait for a response from his sister before he walks down the hall and locks himself in his room.

He doesn't even make it to the bed. Just slides down to the floor and leans back against the door. He hugs his knees to his chest and ducks his head down, trying to regulate his breathing.

For a moment, Eren contemplates calling Levi or Erwin. But he doesn't want them to think that he's even more messed up than he has already proven himself to be.

So instead he just sits there on the floor, trying not to panic and only partially succeeding.

* * *

"Come on, little dove. Just a bit longer."

Erwin's words are sweet, but Levi hears the warning underneath.

"Commander, p-please take it out!"

 _Thwick!_

"You'll take what I give you."

Levi lets out a shout at the sting of the riding crop and a groan at Erwin's words, struggling in his rope bonds. But not from the pain. The crop he can handle any day of the week. No, what he's so desperately trying to get away from is the vibrator that Erwin had slid inside him and turned on to the highest setting.

The shock of it had stunned Levi for a moment, and all he could feel was the maddening buzz that seemed to travel across his entire body. And then Erwin had brought out the riding crop.

If Levi had to choose one thing that he loves most about his playtime with Erwin, he would have to say it's the way the man can make him want to escape while still craving more. It's a complete mind-fuck and Levi can't get enough of it.

"It's too m-much…Commander _please_ …" Levi's panting out the words at this point, coherency slipping away more and more with each passing minute.

"I love it when you beg, dove. You make 'please' sound like a dirty word."

 _Thwick! Thwick!_

"Ah! Oh god…"

"You can call me Commander."

Levi wants to roll his eyes at the lame and overused joke but instead his eyes are rolling from the unapologetic thrust of the vibrator as Erwin pushes it deeper inside of him.

 _Thwick! Thwick! Thwick!_

The strikes from the riding crop help ground Levi a bit, and the pain helps mellow out the intensity of the relentless buzzing against his prostate.

"Please more, Commander. Please…" Levi doesn't care how pathetic he sounds right now. All he wants is for that riding crop to fall onto his skin over and over and—

 _Thwick! Thwick! Thwick! Thwick! Thwick!_

"All you had to do was ask, little dove." Levi can hear the smirk in Erwin's voice, and at any other time he would have snarled something insulting in response but right now all he can do is hold on tight under the onslaught of sensation.

"Do you want to know a secret, dove?" Erwin asks conversationally, like Levi isn't about to collapse from all the overwhelming stimulation.

"Nnngh…" is all he can say in response. Erwin seems to accept it as answer enough. Suddenly soft lips are pressed against to the skin next to Levi's ear and he doesn't hesitate in trying to nuzzle against it.

"I'm going to fuck you tonight. And you're going to come on my cock."

Levi arches his back, whining as he tries to chase Erwin's lips but the man is already pulling away.

He gasps in relief when the vibrator is finally removed, and shamelessly moans when he feels the head of Erwin's cock pressed against his hole.

Levi is confused when he feels strong arms wrapping around his torso, but the intent is made clear when Erwin pulls Levi up so his back is flush with Erwin's chest. With his wrists tied to his ankles, Levi doesn't have much leverage to struggle as

gravity does the rest and pulls Levi down onto Erwin's cock. The slide in feels like heaven and Levi is gasping in little breaths as he adjusts to the size. Levi can feel every single inch, in both length and width. It burns in only the best possible way and once he's fully seated on Erwin's cock, every little twitch of movement sends shockwaves throughout his entire body.

Erwin's arms move down his torso to spread his legs wide. Levi's head just lolls back to rest on Erwin's shoulder. At this point he's entirely surrendered himself to Erwin's power, letting the man have complete control over what happens to Levi's body. Erwin starts speaking softly.

"I can't wait to see what you're going to do to that boy. I can't wait to see him kneeling at your feet. And I can't wait to see you thrive in your dominant headspace."

Erwin's words are just pulling Levi under more and more. He tries to use what little leverage he has to lift up and fuck himself down onto Erwin's cock, but doesn't get any further than a few inches. Erwin chuckles at his weak attempt and slowly uses his grip on Levi's legs to lift him almost all the way off his cock before just letting go and allowing Levi's weight to pull him back down.

Levi makes some sound that's between a whimper, a moan, and a scream.

"That's it, little dove. Sing for me." With that, Erwin lifts Levi up just a little bit and then starts thrusting up at a smooth and steady pace.

Levi has lost control over his vocal chords by this point. Every thrust from Erwin punches out soft cries from his throat, and a haze has settled over the world outside the feeling of having Erwin's cock inside of him.

Levi barely even notices when he comes. Sex with Erwin tends to do that to him. The whole process itself just feels like one long orgasm, and it's not until Erwin stops fucking him that he comes back down from it.

He does notice, however, when Erwin comes. Levi can feel the thrusts stutter in their rhythm, and the telling "Mmmm…" from Erwin.

Everything is still for a moment, and Levi can feel both of their heartbeats—erratic and unsynchronized. It's perfect.

He's docile and feeling rather dopey as Erwin removes the ropes tying his wrists to his ankles.

"You were so good for me," Erwin murmurs as he pulls Levi against his chest. Levi hums when he feels the warm washcloth moving against his chest and stomach, and nuzzles into Erwin's body heat when the moisture on his skin starts to cool.

"Can you give me a few sips, angel?"

Eyes closed, Levi blindly searches out the presumed straw with his lips. Erwin huffs out a little laugh and guides it towards Levi's mouth. Levi manages no more than four sips of juice before he feels himself start to drop off.


	8. Chapter 8

Kink negotiation is not Eren's strong suit. Perhaps it some kind of remnant from the lack of any form of negotiation present when he was with Jean, but Eren is horrible at actually vocalizing what he wants when it comes to his submission.

So he was very grateful when instead of having him fill out endless forms describing his kinks, fetishes, levels of experience, soft limits and hard limits; Levi and Erwin had suggested they start in a more familiar setting.

Which is why he's at _Ludus_ now with them, wearing the yellow wristband that proclaims him to be 'not collared, but not free to play.'

Tonight is meant to be a trial run of sorts. To see how compatible their dynamic is. So Eren doesn't feel totally caught off guard when Erwin and Levi seat themselves on one of the couches, Levi grabbing one of the throw pillows and placing it on the floor between them. Eren considers his options, eyes flicking up from the pillow to look at them. Levi is watching a knife-play demonstration nearby while Erwin discusses the non-alcoholic beverages available with one of the club employees. They're giving him a choice, Eren realizes. They're letting him choose between the pillow on the floor and the Eren-sized gap between them on the couch. And with both of their attentions on things and people other than Eren, he doesn't feel incredibly pressured to pick one option or another.

Eren is so incredibly grateful, so awed and amazed at their courtesy that he doesn't think twice as he settles onto the soft pillow between their feet.

Neither of them makes a big deal about it, and Eren is relieved. The only indication either of them gives that they noticed his decision is Erwin's leg coming to rest against his side and Levi's fingers gently carding through his hair. And it's incredible how easily Eren starts to sink into his headspace, like settling into a warm bath.

"Erwin! Levi!"

Eren doesn't even realize his eyes are closed until they snap wide open at the sound of an unfamiliar voice calling out through the crowd.

Eren watches as someone plops down onto the couch across from them, and he suddenly feels extremely exposed.

This woman looks like she stepped straight out of a cliché BDSM porno. She's wearing the tight black leather corset and pants, high heels that look like they could stab a man if she kicked hard enough, and fingerless leather gloves that cut off at the wrists. The only thing that doesn't quite fit in with the stereotype is the manic smile that seems to be plastered on her face and the thick-looking glasses perched on her nose.

"Hanji, it's great to see you," Erwin greets the newcomer cordially.

"Glasses," is the only thing Levi says in what Eren assumes to be acknowledgement.

"It's been far too long!" Hanji laughs.

"Where's Petra?" Erwin asks.

"She and Mike wanted to watch the fire-play demonstration. I'm glad they're interested in it. It took me forever to find someone I deemed experienced enough before I booked this guy." Hanji gestures vaguely in the direction of another part of the club.

Eren startles a little when he feels what he realizes is Erwin's hand settling on the nape of his neck.

"Hanji, I'd like to introduce you to Eren. Eren, this is our good friend Hanji. She's the owner of _Ludus_."

Now, Eren may not be your typical submissive; but in his book, when you meet the dominant in charge of whatever venue you're enjoying, you show a modicum of formal respect. Especially if you're already in a submissive headspace.

"Very nice to meet you, ma'am," he says, bowing his head slightly.

"Aw, aren't you sweet." Hanji's looking directly at Eren now and it's a bit disturbing.

"Erwin! Levi!" a new voice calls out. And jeez, how many people do they know here?

Two new people join them on the couches. A short redheaded woman drops herself right into Hanji's lap, while a taller blond man sits next to them.

Eren can't help it when he shrinks back a bit, surreptitiously wrapping a hand around Erwin's leg pressed against him and tilting his head to rest against Levi's thigh.

It takes only moments for the two newcomers to notice Eren sitting at Erwin and Levi's feet.

"Ooh!" the redhead coos, clambering off of Hanji's lap. Within moments she's crawled across the floor to sit cross-legged in front of Eren. "Hi. I'm Petra," she says, sticking out a hand. "What's your name?"

Unsure of what else to do, Eren shakes her hand. "Eren."

"It's nice to meet you Eren. Are you Erwin and Levi's new sub?"

"Um…well—"

"You're _perfect_ for them, I can tell. And you have the prettiest face I've ever seen on a boy."

"Er…thanks I guess."

"Have you had any scenes with them yet?"

"That's enough Petra," Hanji says, though she has a wide grin on her face. Petra obeys, not pestering Eren further; but she doesn't move from her spot next to him on the floor.

Eren isn't sure why he's turned so shy all of a sudden. Usually he's pretty upfront with people if he's not directly engaged in a scene.

Maybe it's because he's not usually in the habit of socializing with other people while in a pretty subby headspace. Maybe it's because he still isn't exactly sure where he stands with Levi and Erwin.

But Eren's willing to bet it probably has a lot to do with the disconcertingly creepy way Hanji is staring at him right now, like he's some interesting specimen that she wants to dissect or something.

"Cut it out, glasses. You're freaking him out." Levi's deep voice grounds Eren a bit, as does the slight tightening of his fingers in Eren's hair. He feels himself calm slightly.

"So…um. Are the three of you…?" Eren trails off as he gestures between Hanji, Petra, and Mike; not sure how to finish that sentence.

To say that Hanji _cackles_ would still be too mild of a descriptor. Eren has the fleeting thought that Petra is a very brave submissive indeed.

"No no, nothing like that. Mike here is very picky. I've yet to meet a submissive who fulfills his stringent requirements." Hanji pats the top of Mike's head. It's a bit amusing considering how far up she has to reach. Mike remains silent under her attentions, but not in a sullen way. Eren gets the sense that Mike is just a quiet person in general.

Suddenly, a shorter blond girl with a stony expression on her face approaches them.

"Annie!" Hanji called out. "Darling, come say hello to Eren."

Annie looks to him, expression not changing as she gives a short "Hello." She doesn't look particularly friendly. Eren just gives a small wave in return.

"There's a problem at the bar. Someone had too much to drink and is now getting belligerent. Thomas was going to kick them out but wanted to check with you first." With that, Annie turns and heads back to wherever she came from. Eren notices the word SECURITY in white letters across the back of Annie's shirt.

Hanji lets out a very put upon sigh. "One day I'm going to sell this place. Then I'll be able to enjoy it without having to deal with all the adulting bits." She rises from her seat and it's like a transformation comes over her. Her expression turns from severely manic to severely menacing and Eren can't suppress a shudder. She's a scary lady.

After she walks off, Petra turns back towards Eren. "So, Eren, tell me about how you three met…"

* * *

By the time Eren, Levi, and Erwin are leaving _Ludus_ , it's pretty late. Far later than Eren has ever stayed at the club before. Erwin and Levi just knew so many people, and as the night wore on and Eren became more comfortable, he found that he enjoyed meeting everyone and learning about their individual experiences in the scene.

They hadn't really engaged in anything further than Eren's placement at their feet, although at one point Levi had positioned him in a now-familiar yoga pose—the tabletop. From there, Levi had promptly propped his booted feet up on Eren's back and continued his conversation with Mike as if nothing remarkable had just happened.

And that was how Eren was introduced to forniphilia.

To his surprise, he loved it.

There was something about being objectified to such a severe degree that made his blood turn hot, and his cock ached with arousal. It was one of the most erotic experiences of his entire life. Acting as Levi's footstool for the night felt like the highest of callings for some inexplicable reason, and Eren is a little overwhelmed by how badly he wants to do it again.

The experience was quite the contrast to how Levi is acting now, all snuggly and warm in the back seat of Erwin's car. His smaller size results in him nuzzling into Eren's arms with his legs thrown across Eren's lap and he doesn't seem to be at all bothered by it. For Eren, it actually seems like a much more interactive version of what they were doing earlier. He feels like the luckiest throne on the planet under the sprawling warmth of Levi's body. It doesn't take long for Levi to fall into a light doze.

When they arrive at Eren's apartment, he's painstakingly careful in extracting himself from Levi's embrace, gently shutting the car door behind him. He turns to find Erwin standing in front of him with an unreadable expression on his face.

Eren doesn't have much time to ponder it, as Erwin takes no time at all in crowding Eren up against the car. He seems to be rather fond of this position.

"I had a nice time tonight," Eren says softly, ducking his head down in slight embarrassment. He had seen the hungry look on Erwin's face back at the club when Eren had been playing the role of Levi's personal ottoman.

Erwin doesn't let him hide, sliding a hand into his hair not unlike the way Levi had earlier tonight at the club, but instead of gentle petting Erwin grips tightly and tilts Eren's head back until he has no choice but to stare into those intensely electric blue eyes.

Eren had been sporting a semi since Levi climbed on top of him in the car, but now he's completely hard and aching again.

Erwin's other hand comes up to stroke at Eren's cheek. The touch is so soft and Eren can't contain the small moan that escapes his lips. His eyes start sliding shut under the attention, but Erwin's hand in his hair gives a small tug and he obeys the silent command, once again staring up into Erwin's gaze.

"You were so good for us tonight," Erwin says, voice low and rough. The words cause warmth to spread from his stomach throughout his body.

"Thank you, sir." The words are out before Eren can even think about them, and a spike of panic shoots through him. But it quickly settles down at the immensely pleased smile on Erwin's face.

"Mmm, I like the sound of that," he says. It takes all of the willpower that Eren possesses not to rub himself against the thigh that Erwin has situated between his legs. Just when he's starting to get into it, though, Erwin murmurs, "I'll see you later, love." With those words, Erwin presses his lips against Eren's forehead before stepping back and letting him stumble his way to the stairs.

Eren can't help the giddy smile on his face as he climbs the stairs to his floor. Tonight had been incredible. And while Eren's dick desperately wants more, he's glad that they're still taking things slow. It allows him to savor each experience, reflect on the worth of every touch, every soft press of lips.

He's thinking about the very naughty shower that he plans to have as soon as he walks through the door, but stops in his tracks at a slumped over form leaning up against the wall next to his front door. His first thought is that it could be a homeless person, though Eren's never known any homeless people to go from door to door asking for food and money. As he gets closer, though, he's able to see more distinct features under the light above his front door.

Bile churns in his stomach as he notices the careful way the person is seated, sideways with most of their weight on the shoulder leaning against the wall. He sees the bruises littering the person's arms and the dark impression of fingerprints around their throat and neck. He doesn't want to believe it. He wants it to be a grand hallucination. But it's not. He knows it's not.

Almost as if sensing his presence, blue eyes blink open to look up at him, dazed. Eren feels his stomach lurch when he sees the splotch of red in the white next to the iris—a burst capillary. And despite it all, there's still a small smile gracing those bitten and bleeding lips.

"Hi Eren." The voice is scratchy, weak; and Eren wants to scream and cry and break something all at once. Because this could not be happening. Not now. Not tonight.

"Armin."


	9. Chapter 9

Silence holds for a few moments as one boy doesn't know what to say and the other is physically struggling to speak at all. It takes Eren several seconds to absorb the sight of Armin slumped against the outside wall of his apartment—beaten, bruised, damaged.

Well, first things first.

"C'mon, let me help you up." It takes some careful maneuvering but Eren manages to eventually get Armin standing without putting much pressure on too many of his injuries.

When they get inside, Eren considers steering Armin to sit on the couch, but if the visible damage is already this bad, there's no telling what his backside probably looks like.

So instead, Eren brings Armin into his own bedroom, carefully helping him lie facedown on the bed.

"I'll be right back," Eren says before rushing into the kitchen to get a warm, wet cloth, the first aid kit, and some ice wrapped in a towel.

As Eren tends to Armin's visible injuries, he notices the silent tears streaming down Armin's face; and his heart breaks.

"Jesus, Armin. What did he do to you?" The words are soft and the question rhetorical—it is very plainly obvious what Jean did to Armin. When Eren notices the rope marks around Armin's wrists, he thinks he might be sick.

Eren meticulously applies arnica cream to Armin's bruises, but it's obvious that the damage to his neck is what needs the most attention at the moment. Eren ends up making him a cup of hot tea and a glass of cold water; unsure which will be more soothing on Armin's throat. As Armin sips at the cold water through the straw Eren had provided, Eren asks him yes or no questions so all Armin has to do is nod or shake his head in reply.

"Is anything broken?"

No.

"Are you bleeding anywhere except your lip?"

Yes.

Eren lets out a sigh. He had been afraid of that. He drops a hand to rest gently on Armin's lower back, right above the waistband of his pants.

"Here?"

Armin hesitates, cheeks pinking a bit, before nodding an affirmative.

"Are you okay with me removing your pants?"

Armin's lips quirk up into the teensiest of smiles and he lets out a little snort of laughter, as if he can't believe that Eren would need to ask such a question. But he nods all the same.

As gently as he possibly can, Eren lifts the waistband of Armin's sweatpants away from his skin before pulling them down, trying to avoid rubbing the damaged area with the fabric. The sight that greets him is beyond his comprehension. It is, in short, two large open wounds; both spanning the stretch of skin between Armin's lower back and the middle of his thighs.

Jean had never beaten Eren this bad. While Eren's punishments from his time with Jean had been far from pleasant, what he had done to Armin was downright debilitating. Eren wonders how Jean's abusive tendencies had escalated so badly. Three years can change a person a lot, he supposes—or make their already bad behaviors that much more devastating.

"Is there any…internal damage?" Eren holds his breath once he asks the question, suddenly terrified of the answer. As monstrous as Jean's actions were on their own, Eren's not sure if he could stop himself from tracking down the bastard and beating him to a pulp if he had violated Armin in that way as well.

Thankfully, he gets a headshake in response, and Eren lets out a relieved sigh.

He brings his attention back to Armin's mutilated skin. The sight is overwhelming, the damage more serious than anything he's dealt with before. He chews at his lip as he contemplates his options.

"I think I need to call you an ambulance."

Before Eren even has the chance to reach for his cell phone, Armin is turning fearful eyes on him, a pleading expression on his face. A hand shoots out to grip at Eren's shirt, holding him in place as Armin vigorously shakes his head in refusal.

"Armin I'm not sure if I'm properly equipped to tend to this level of damage…"

Armin hasn't stopped shaking his head—if anything the movement has become even more emphatic—and is now muttering out strained pleas of "no, no, no, no."

"Alright, alright," Eren placates, not wanting Armin to do any further damage to his vocal chords. "I won't call an ambulance." At those words, Armin's entire body sags back into the bed, hand slipping from the fabric of his shirt. "But cleaning and dressing this is going to take some time, and it's going to hurt like a motherfucker." Eren tries to think of the best way to go about doing this. He doesn't want to wipe at the raw skin with any kind of cloth. At this point it might do more harm than good. Suddenly, and idea occurs to him. "Do you think you could get to the shower?"

Nod.

"Okay, I'll go start the water."

* * *

By the time Eren has Armin's injuries cleaned and dressed, it's easily four in the morning. Thankfully, Armin's body had mercifully shut down from the overwhelming exhaustion and pain, granting him the sweet release from consciousness, and he's now sleeping deeply.

Meanwhile, Eren is wide-awake on the couch, staring at the ceiling and trying to calm the nausea rolling through his stomach. While cleaning Armin's wounds off in the shower had been a good idea, it had also given Eren an eyeful of every bruise, scratch, and mark. Of course, Armin's backside was the worst of it, but that didn't make seeing the additional damage any easier. Eren can't understand how Armin was so calm and seemingly unaffected by the outrageous damage inflicted upon his body. Eren has the sickening thought that Armin might be used to such treatment now.

Eren's just starts to nod off when he's jerked awake by someone banging on the front door.

"Eren!"

His heart starts racing a hundred miles a minute. Oh god, please no. Please don't let him be here.

"Eren, I know you're in there and I know he's with you!"

The sound of his voice flips a switch somewhere inside of Eren and suddenly any rage he had felt before towards Jean melts away into crippling, paralyzing fear. He tries his best to shake it off, refusing leaving the couch. Maybe if no one answers the door Jean will just give up and go away.

The sound of the doorknob jiggling spurs Eren right into action, and he rushes to the door. Even though he knows Jean can't possibly get through the deadbolt without a sledgehammer or something equally destructive, he doesn't hesitate in sliding the chain lock into place. It may be nothing more than a flimsy brass chain, but right now his only goal is putting as many barriers as possible between Jean and the inside of his apartment.

Of course, now Jean knows Eren's on the other side of the door from the sound of the chain sliding into place. Eren realizes a second too late that he had just played right into Jean's hands. Jean's voice is dangerously low and menacing when he speaks again.

"I had to do it, Eren. You weren't there to take your punishment, so he had to take it for you. I didn't _want_ to do it. You know how much I hate doling out punishments." Eren's fear mixes with confusion as he presses back against the door, sliding down onto the floor. What punishment could he have possibly earned? He doesn't have to ask because Jean continues on with his demented monologue as though Eren had asked the question out loud. "You've turned into quite the little slut, Eren. You think I wouldn't find out about your new sugar daddies?" Unbidden, too familiar shame and remorse well up inside of him—a relic from his time with Jean. Eren tries to expel the feeling—the feeling that he owes Jean an explanation, an apology, a promise for better behavior. But he can't shut it out; Jean just keeps talking. "I _saw_ you, kneeling at their feet like the little bitch you are. _You're_ the reason he was punished, Eren. It's all your fault. You should have come and apologized when I gave you the chance. This never would have happened if you had stepped forward and taken responsibility for your actions."

Eren's heart is in his throat by the time Jean stops talking, and he remembers the belligerent customer that Annie had come to talk to Hanji about earlier tonight. Had that been Jean?

He knows what Jean is trying to do right now. Because he used to do it to Eren all the time when they were together. But Eren won't let himself fall for Jean's manipulative tactics. He _won't_. Armin's current condition is the fault of no one but Jean and Jean alone. Eren refuses to allow him to plant any seeds of doubt about that fact into his mind.

"Go away, Jean. Or I'll call the police." Eren silently curses at how shaky and brittle his voice sounds. He's one hundred percent certain that Jean doesn't miss that little detail. Jean notices everything.

"No, you won't." Jean sounds so sure, so certain of himself. "What you're going to do is open this door _right now_ and apologize to me for your gross misconduct."

Without Eren's permission, his hand jerks to the lock on the door, but he quickly pulls back. Three years gone and some of Jean's training is still hardwired and deeply ingrained into his brain; it's like he can't get it out of his system, this poison that Jean had been dosing him with throughout the span of their relationship. He grips his own wrist, as if his hand has a mind of its own that will act independently if Eren doesn't restrain it—the scary thing is that it very well might. How is it that within minutes of interacting with Jean again—not even face to face—he's managed to so quickly worm his way back inside Eren's brain again, as if he has any right to be there at all?

"My patience is wearing thin, Eren," Jean growls, and the doorknob jiggles again.

"No." It's all Eren can manage to say right now.

"You do know he's here because I told him to come here right? I knew you'd take him in. Your bleeding fucking heart wouldn't be able to stand it. I sent him to you Eren, as a gift. To show you what your absence has done to him. To show you the consequences of your reckless and selfish behavior."

No, it's not true. Eren knows that. With Jean, the more insane something sounds, the more likely it is that whatever he's saying is a complete lie. He will exhaust every possible avenue of manipulation to get what he wants. Eren knows this. He can fight off any curveballs Jean might try to throw his way. He can be strong about this. He will not submit to the emotional control.

"You know, he left his anxiety medication behind. Poor thing is on such a high dosage these days. Not sure why. Sooner or later he's going to need these." The sound of pills shaking around in a bottle echoes loudly in Eren's ears. "I hear withdrawal from Prozac can be pretty rough. Insomnia, depression, dizziness. Even suicidal thoughts. Are you sure you want to take that kind of gamble given the state he's in right now, Eren?" Eren doesn't respond, his mouth is sandpaper dry and there's a lump in his throat the size of a walnut. "You can't avoid me forever. I'll make sure of it. If you want these—" another shake of the pill bottle, "—you know where to find me."

As he hears the sound of Jean's retreating footsteps, Eren can't stop himself from shaking. How had things taken such an awful turn in just twelve hours?

He tries to fight off the thoughts flooding his head now that Jean has left, but they overwhelm him into helplessness. He knew what kind of person Jean was when he left the two of them three years ago, and he left Armin alone with him to fend for himself. Jean had shown plenty of signs of being an abusive partner long before Armin even came into the picture. How could Eren think for even a second that Jean would show Armin mercy when he had shown none for Eren? He had left his best friend in the hands of a manipulative, sadistic monster. Armin had inherited Eren's load when Eren left. Was it possible that Eren really was responsible for that?

No! No, he can't afford to think like this. It's exactly what Jean wants.

What scares Eren the most is that Jean almost always gets what he wants.


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning, Eren is not feeling much better. At all. In fact, he would say he's feeling even worse thanks to the forty-five minutes of sleep he had gotten. Somehow, he manages to hide from Mikasa the fact that Armin is staying in their apartment, and he's relieved when she finally heads out the door to meet with some of her colleagues.

Armin sleeps well into the afternoon, and while Eren is sure that rest will only help Armin's body heal itself, the hours drag by painfully, forcing him to replay Jean's crafty words over and over in his brain. He tries to shake it off, to reject Jean's obvious emotional manipulation.

 _Not my fault. Not my fault. Not my fault._

The words become a mantra for him, a kind of prayer that he reverts to whenever he starts speculating on what part he might have played in what happened to Armin last night.

When Armin finally does wake up, Eren springs into action, thankful for something to do. He heats up some chicken broth on the stove and gets more ice from the freezer for Armin's bruises.

"I need to ask you some questions, Armin," he starts, anxious for whatever answers await him. Armin looks up from his mostly finished bowl with a questioning expression, nodding for Eren to continue.

"Are you on any anxiety medication?"

Eren's stomach drops when he sees the deer-in-the-headlights expression on Armin's face. He gets a slow nod in response to his question.

"Did you leave it behind before you came here?"

Another slow nod, and now Eren can see the dawning realization on Armin's face. The horrifying understanding that Jean had come to the apartment and had managed to make contact with Eren while Armin had slept.

Before Eren can ask his next question though, Armin is setting aside his bowl and rifling through the knapsack he'd brought with him. Eren watches curiously as Armin takes out his phone, and he panics for a moment thinking that Armin might be about to contact Jean. It's quiet as Armin types something into his phone, and after a few minutes Eren hears the distinct _ping_ of a new message. Armin's eyes scan the screen and he lets out a small sigh of relief. Wordlessly, he hands Eren the phone so he can read it.

 _Armin—I can have an emergency prescription sent to your pharmacy. Please be more careful in the future so as not to lose your medication again. Regards, Dr. Stillion_.

It feels as though a heavy weight is being lifted off of Eren's chest. He silently praises Armin's brilliant mind and ability to stay calm and calculated even in the most stressful situations.

"I can go pick this up for you. Are you going to be alright by yourself here?" Eren asks as he hands the phone back. A fond smile graces Armin's features as he nods in assurance.

Eren lets out his own relieved sigh. He doesn't have to see Jean. And that's all that matters.

* * *

Eren is feeling calm and relaxed as he leaves the pharmacy, Armin's medication in hand. He had also grabbed some extra first aid supplies to help speed up Armin's recovery process.

It's when he's walking out the door that he sees it.

A far-too-familiar looking pickup truck. Jet black and modified beyond belief, the beast sits in the parking lot—menacing even when stationary.

Eyes lock through the glass of the windshield, and Eren sees the smirk as Jean opens the door and exits the vehicle.

 _No no no!_

This isn't supposed to happen. Jean is supposed to be at his own apartment, waiting for Eren to come knocking to beg for Armin's medication. How did Jean even know that Eren would be here?

"Eren? Is that you?"

Jean stops in his tracks and Eren turns to see Hanji standing there, looking at him with her slightly maniacal smile. Eren grabs onto the small salvation. As scary as Hanji is, he would much rather engage with her than with Jean.

"Hi Hanji." The smile on Eren's face isn't even fake and he sighs in relief when he catches sight of Jean's retreating form out of the corner of his eye.

"I thought that was you!" she laughs, completely oblivious to the nightmare she has just prevented.

Outside of her _Ludus_ get-up, Hanji actually looks fairly normal—all creepy grinning aside. Sporting simple jeans and a t-shirt, she isn't nearly as intimidating as she was the night before.

Eren hears the obnoxious revving of a truck and the tires squealing as it peals out of the parking lot. But he can't assume that he's out of the woods yet. That kind of thinking is exactly how you fall into Jean's traps. Eren had already somehow fell into one of them just by coming to the pharmacy. Step one is always false sense of security.

"Would you like to join me and Petra for lunch?" Hanji's voice breaks through Eren's muddled thoughts.

"Absolutely!" The reply is perhaps a bit too enthusiastic, but compared to Hanji's personality in general it's still pretty tame.

It's not until Eren is sitting across the table from Petra and Hanji that he realizes how little he thought this through. Individually, the two girls are overwhelming enough. But together, it's like a barrage of excitement and interest. And interest is the last thing Eren wants while trying to hide the fact that his ex is essentially _hunting_ him.

Thankfully, they don't assault him with questions about his (not quite yet) sex life with Erwin and Levi. Apparently that kind of talk is reserved for _Ludus_ when all parties being discussed are present.

"So you're a writer?" Petra asks before taking a vicious bite from her sandwich. Watching this girl eat is both a terrifying and fascinating experience.

"Uh, yeah. Well, most of my work consist of freelance jobs online."

"Do you have a genre that you prefer over others?"

"I'd like to write more fiction but most of the jobs I receive are for research articles and things like that. I am working on a novel currently but it's no where near finished."

This feels a lot like a job interview of sorts, and Eren wonders if perhaps it is. The way that Petra and Hanji are looking at him makes him feel like he's under some kind of spotlight. He knows from their discussion last night that both girls have known Levi and Erwin for years, and Eren can't help but sense that he's being assessed and scrutinized to determine whether or not he's a good fit for the two older men.

A flash of movement outside the café window makes Eren startle a bit, and his eyes frantically scour the parking lot for any sign of Jean's monster of a truck.

"Everything okay?" Hanji asks, looking at him shrewdly. It reminds Eren of the way that Mikasa looks at him whenever she suspects he's keeping something important from her.

"Yeah, I'm great!

And wow, even Eren knows that his words sound far from convincing.

He's saved from having to explain himself when his cell phone alerts him to a new text message. It's from Armin.

 _I think Jean came by. I don't know for certain, but there was a lot of yelling and banging on the door so I can only assume. Whoever it was just left. Are you coming back soon?_

It feels like a block of ice has settled into his stomach. For one thing, Jean is now officially stalking him; for another, it's clear that Armin is scared. Terrified even.

"Sorry. Something's just come up," Eren babbles, hand fishing into his pocket for his wallet. "I'll see you guys soon, yeah?" Without waiting for a response, Eren slaps down some money on the table and is out the door before either girl could say a thing.

* * *

Eren has smoked marijuana before, and the paranoia that had accompanied the high had driven him crazy. But that was nothing compared to how he feels now as he pulls into his apartment complex. There's a very good chance that Jean is here somewhere, just waiting for the opportune moment to pounce.

He's jumpy and skittish as he walks up the stairs to his floor, head constantly swiveling for any sign of Jean.

It's not until he's inside the apartment with the door locked behind him that Eren allows himself a deep sigh of relief, feeling relatively safe for now.

"Armin! I'm back. I'll make you some more soup so you don't take these pills on an empty stomach."

Eren doesn't wait for an answer because he knows that Armin's vocal chords are likely still healing. But his heart nearly leaps out of his chest when he turns from the bubbling pot on the stove to see Mikasa standing in the kitchen doorway. She doesn't look very impressed.

"You're home," Eren says stupidly.

"Yes, imagine my surprise when I came home for lunch to find that we have ourselves a house guest."

Armin emerges from behind her with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and an apologetic look on his face, as if it's his fault Eren hadn't told Mikasa that he was staying here.

Despite the fact that Armin is on the mend, there is still very obvious evidence of the abuse he's suffered. The bruises on his neck stand out in stark contrast to his pale skin.

"I have an explanation," Eren tries to assure Mikasa, although internally, he is panicking.

"Armin already told me the whole story, Eren."

That surprises him. Even after three years of not living under Jean's rule, Eren has still not told her the particulars of their relationship. A swell of pride starts to form in his chest.

"I can't believe people are still gay-bashing in this town. I thought we had a more accepting community than that," Mikasa says off-handedly, approaching the counter and starting to ladle some soup into a bowl for Armin.

Wait, _what_?

Suddenly any pride he might have felt only moments ago deflates, leaving Eren feeling hollow and defeated. Because immediately, he realizes that he and Armin are in trouble. Trapped. Trapped with this horrible secret that, in their opinion, no one must know. Sure, he had told Erwin and Levi, but that had been a discussion of the _past_ —a past that Eren had believed would stay very much in the past. And it had been doing a great job of that. That is until it came banging on his door in the middle of the night and demanding entry.

"Um…" is his intelligent response. Mikasa doesn't seem to notice; too busy rifling through the drawers for a soupspoon.

Eren and Armin stare at each other, both realizing how much trouble they are in.

* * *

Levi doesn't usually care for what Erwin likes to call lazy days: days spent lying in bed well into the early afternoon, alternating between talking, kissing, and napping. However, today is an exception. Levi is feeling particularly happy, and despite the regularly positive influence Erwin has on his life, Levi is rarely in any mood better than mildly annoyed outside of a scene.

Last night had been something out of a dream. It was like the picture that Erwin has been painting for years finally came to life. Having Eren under his feet had been thrilling, and he knows that the boy had felt the intense connection between the three of them as he sat at their feet.

So instead of grumbling something about needing to spend the day more productively, Levi turns over to face Erwin's sleeping form and snuggles into his arms.

"Mmm…" Erwin mumbles with a small smile while he wakes, having only been dozing. His arms tighten around Levi's waist, holding him close. Levi revels in the shared contentment that seems to have settled in and around them.

So of course, the moment is interrupted by the jarring sound of Levi's ringtone.

"Uggghhh," he groans, reaching over to snatch up the phone from the nightstand. He sees Hanji's name on the caller I.D. and decides that she can wait and he will call her back later. He silences the phone, tosses it onto the nightstand, and goes back to snuggling Erwin.

Levi's ready to put Hanji's head through a wall when Erwin's phone starts blaring moments later. This time he does grumble, something about "intrusive idiots" as Erwin retrieves his cell phone from the other nightstand. Levi wants to tell him to ignore the call, but Erwin never ignores calls.

"Hello Hanji. How are you?"

"Is Levi with you?" Hanji's voice is uncharacteristically serious, and Erwin frowns, turning to look at Levi.

"Hold on a sec." Erwin presses the speakerphone button. "You've got both of us. What's going on?" He now looks thoroughly concerned.

"Have you spoken to Eren since last night?"

"No, why? Is something wrong?"

"I ran into him earlier today and invited him to lunch with me and Petra. But the whole time he was jittery and constantly looking over his shoulder. And then he suddenly jumped up and ran out of the café. We tried to go after him but by the time we got out to the parking lot he was gone. I think he's in trouble."

Erwin turns to Levi and doesn't even need to speak. Levi is already scrolling through his phone for Eren's number. He immediately puts the phone on speaker, and the three of them all listen as it rings once, twice—

"Hi, this is Eren Jaeger. I can't answer the phone right now…"

Levi hangs up before the voicemail message even finishes. Eren rejected his call. It's moments like this when Levi needs Erwin. Complex human interaction for him is generally all or nothing, and Erwin is better at dealing with more nuanced and complicated situations.

"What do you think is wrong?" Levi asks, because he needs some theory to grab onto in order to calm down his now racing mind. The bottom of his stomach drops out when Erwin's face darkens.

"I don't know _what_. But I have a feeling that I know _who._ "


	11. Chapter 11

Despite the (necessary?) lies, Eren can easily admit that having Mikasa at least _somewhat_ in the know is useful. Her big sister instincts are in full gear, and she is refusing to be shut out of the situation now. After much back and forth, she had finally convinced Eren to let her take Armin to the clinic so Eren can catch up on his writing and work.

"I know you have Armin's best interests at heart, and your efforts have obviously helped. But I really think that professional medical attention is necessary," she had said. Eren had looked to Armin, unsure if he was willing to leave the apartment looking so battered and bruised. Eren knows that there had been times when Jean had left some bruises on him that couldn't be covered by clothes, and Eren had been so ashamed that he had called in sick to work and didn't leave his apartment until the bruises had faded. However, he gets a reassuring head nod from Armin, and soon Eren is sitting on the couch, frantically finishing up a piece that he needs to have completed and sent in by Monday morning.

Maybe it's because he's so into his work, maybe it's because he's feeling a little more relaxed having Mikasa in the loop, or maybe it's because avoidance has always been Eren's go-to method when it comes to harsh realities—but whatever the reason, Eren is somehow surprised when he unthinkingly answers a knock at the door only to come face-to-face with the man who has haunted more nightmares than Eren is willing to admit.

Fight or flight seems to be failing him at the moment, because all he can do is stand there in wide-eyed horror at the sight of Jean Kirstein gracing his front door.

"Hello Eren."

The jarring impact of his sudden presence hits Eren like a wall. But again, he doesn't know why he's at all surprised. Jean has a knack for pouncing at just the right moment. Just when you're feeling like you're safe for a little while, just when you feel like there's a calm to the storm, just when you feel like there's a way out of the nightmare—suddenly he appears and there is simply no way to prepare for it. Because Jean is a hunter, and he's remarkably skilled at playing the game.

Eren tries to stay calm and closes his eyes, counting backwards from ten in his brain and then opening them again—desperately hoping that this is just yet another horrid dream. He's certainly had ones almost exactly like this before.

But instead of waking up to the darkened ceiling of his bedroom, Eren still sees him standing there with that smirk on his face. The smirk that tells him Jean can probably smell the fear and anxiety rolling off of him in waves. The smirk that declares victory more than any words ever could.

One day.

It had taken Jean less than twelve hours to get Eren alone.

For some reason, Eren can't seem to find his voice. His mind, on the other hand, is running two million miles a minute. He can't deny that Jean has chosen the perfect time to strike. Eren certainly feels caught off guard, trapped once again by Jean's perfectly orchestrated manipulations.

Deeply ingrained training that must have been somehow triggered by Jean's presence comes rushing to the forefront of Eren's psyche—that is the only possible explanation for his actions as he meekly bows his head and steps aside to let Jean into his home. He feels like a child who is about to be scolded. Just moments of face-to-face interaction and it's like the last three years never even happened.

The sound of the deadbolt sliding into place echoes loudly in Eren's mind, and suddenly this all seems inevitable. Ever since the night Eren had found out about Jean and Armin, it seems like this moment was bound to come one way or another.

Eventually, Eren knew he would need to make this choice, to have this confrontation. Without Armin to dilute the tension, without Mikasa to protect Eren from his own weakness.

And now, as he stares down at the tops of Jean's immaculately shined shoes, Eren understands that he has a decision to make. Will he once more take his place at the feet of this man, or will he finally rise to defend his dignity, his self-esteem, and his self-worth.

It's terrifying that the choice isn't glaringly obvious or immediately forthcoming. Something that Eren would have been so sure of before seeing Jean is now murky and unclear.

Because that's the thing about Jean. He talks, and he talks, and he talks. He does it so artfully, patiently playing the long game. Before you know it, you're twenty feet deep with lead blocks tied to your ankles. And that's when you realize that he has somehow managed to drag you here without you even noticing, that he has brought you to this place where you question yourself at every turn. Where you wonder if every move you make is the wrong one. Where your uncertainty becomes so overwhelming that you have no choice but to look to him for guidance, for reassurance. He drags you into insanity, and then ensures that he is your only available salvation.

It's like Stockholm Syndrome in a way. But it's not Eren's body that Jean is holding captive. It's his mind.

* * *

Normally, Erwin is a very safe driver. In fact, there have been numerous occasions wherein Levi has scolded him for being such a law-abiding citizen on the road. Usually such outbursts happen when they're running late for something.

But now, Erwin's driving is almost scaring Levi, and he grips the inside handle on the passenger-side door tightly as they weave through traffic and rocket towards Eren's apartment complex.

Now, Levi knows that this isn't a scene. This is not even close to a scene. Situations like this are meant to be faced with a clear head and proper judgment.

But Levi is somehow sinking into his headspace, because he's feeling something that he has felt very rarely ever since Erwin came into his life ten years ago: fear.

Despite not having experienced any kind of abuse firsthand himself, Levi is familiar with how victims often operate when it comes to their attitude towards their abuser. They usually downplay the severity of the abuser's actions, and sometimes even explain away the abuse as their own fault.

And that is why Levi is fearful. Because Eren had been so blunt and forthcoming when he had told Levi and Erwin about his relationship with Jean and Armin. Levi felt like they had pretty much gotten the full story.

But now, he's not so sure. It's one thing to hear the play-by-play from someone, and something else entirely to experience it yourself. Levi's met several victims of abuse—both emotional and physical. Unfortunately, one tends to run into them rather often in the BDSM scene. There are several abusers who try to disguise their behavior with the label of "dominant" so they can lure in victims more easily.

And if there is one thing that Levi has learned from his interactions with victims and survivors, it's that just because the abuser is out of someone's life, doesn't necessarily mean that they are out of someone's mind. Victims—particularly ones from long-term relationships with an abuser—lose a fair bit of psychological territory to their abuser. The manipulation and control takes root in a very real way.

And this is where the fear comes into play. Because now Levi wonders how much of what he's seen of Eren is the real Eren, and how much of it is a mask that simply conceals the effects of such tremendous trauma and pain. Initially, the boy seemed to have recovered fairly well from his time with Jean, but now Levi questions how much of that recovery was genuine.

Erwin seems to be quite sure that Jean has re-entered Eren's life somehow. That would explain the jumpy and paranoid behavior that Eren had exhibited when he was at lunch with Hanji and Petra. And if Jean _has_ somehow come back into Eren's life, Levi has no way of knowing what kind of effect that will have. These are the kinds of complicated human interactions that he is just clueless about.

Which is why, he supposes, he is sinking into a submissive headspace despite the very inappropriate time and setting for it. Usually Levi has no problem telling people what he thinks, but that's just in regular day-to-day interaction. This is complex, and Levi is so unprepared.

At this moment, everything he is, everything he does, is entrusted to Erwin's care and Erwin's command. That much had been obvious once they had gotten off the phone with Hanji. Erwin looked at Levi with an intensity that Levi usually only saw during playtime.

"Get dressed." It was an order, without a doubt, and he jumped to obey it. As Levi scrambled to pull on his clothes, Erwin's movements had been calm and measured. But not in the man's usual easy-going, self-assured way. At that moment, Erwin looked like he was out for blood.

When Erwin had turned to see Levi dressed and waiting expectantly for the next command, he nodded in approval.

"Start the car."

Levi could do that. That was easy. This was what he needed. Simple orders that were easily achievable. Assignments of sorts that kept Levi's brain from asking tough questions like "Is it our place to step in if Eren has confronted Jean?" or "What do we do if Eren doesn't want our help?" or, horrifyingly, "What do we do if we're too late?"

By following Erwin's instructions, Levi was able to muffle these thoughts, instead focusing on carrying out the orders with impeccable timing and skill. Get dressed? Easy, Levi could do that. Start the car? Simple, Levi could do that.

"Buckle up and hold on tight," had been Erwin's next orders when he finally joined Levi in the car, sliding into the driver's seat.

And now, as they pull into Eren's apartment complex, Levi is desperately hoping for another set of commands. Because he's terrified. He has no idea what they're about to walk into, or if there's even anything to walk into in the first place. What if they show up and Eren's not home? What if they show up and nothing's wrong? What if they show up and _everything's_ wrong? What if Hanji had misinterpreted Eren's behavior? What if—

"Let's go. Stay behind me."

Perfect, another set of commands. They couldn't have come a moment too soon. Levi is doing far too good a job of working himself up into a panic.

Silently, he follows Erwin up the stairs to Eren's apartment. A front door has never looked so menacing in Levi's entire life. He can practically sense the tension emanating from inside Eren's apartment, and despite all his previous worries and uncertainties about the situation, somehow Levi knows that whatever is going on behind that door is a Big Deal.

Erwin raises his hand to knock, and Levi holds his breath.


	12. Chapter 12

Jean moves first, and Eren valiantly tries not to flinch back against the wall as he approaches. Of course, Jean is not fooled. His smile is now soft, obviously meant to be reassuring and non-threatening. But Eren knows better.

"It's so good to see you, Eren. I've missed you." The words are sweet, and Eren fights the urge to relax in reaction to the non-aggressive approach.

"Well, I haven't missed you," is his curt response. And Eren's happy to realize that at least that much is true. He hasn't missed Jean's intrusive presence in his life. He hasn't missed the beatings. He hasn't missed the degradation.

Jean just smiles at Eren's words, as if he was expecting them. He steps closer and suddenly before Eren can react he's caught up in Jean's embrace. The familiar arms around his waist are warm and gentle, the affectionate gesture is careful and sweet—but the intent is so very clear. And Eren sternly reminds himself that none of this is the real Jean. Right now every move Jean makes, every word that comes out of his mouth, it's all about luring Eren back in. And he refuses to take the bait.

Eren doesn't return the hug nor does he try to move away, deciding to just stand stock still until Jean gives up. The best reaction in this situation is no reaction at all. Hugging back is obviously unthinkable, but trying to pull away would give Jean something to chase. And despite how terrifying it is to be caught by Jean, being chased by him is so much worse.

It takes longer than expected, but eventually Jean does step back, though his hands stubbornly don't leave Eren's body. One grips at his hip while the other slides up to cradle his cheek. The warm smile on Jean's face morphs into and expression that Eren can tell is meant to convey Jean's displeasure with him.

"I've been disappointed by your behavior, Eren. I have tolerated you fooling around with the various randoms you've found at the clubs, but I will not stand idly by while you allow yourself to be taken advantage of to such an extent." Eren's heart races at the realization that Jean must have been watching him. How else would he know about Eren's one-timers? Eren tries not to worry over how long Jean might have been watching him. To think that he's been monitored for these last three years is more terrifying than anything else that has happened today.

Jean obviously senses Eren's surprise and panic, and he smiles before continuing in his lecture. "I must say that kneeling at the feet of those two men made you look cheap and easy. Not flattering at all. How are you not bothered by what you've been doing with yourself?" Eren closes his eyes, tries to let his mind drift instead of lingering on the carefully delivered words. "The fact that you don't see the trouble you've gotten yourself into is truly worrying to me. You need help. You need _my_ help. That's why I've decided to come back for you. Because I can see the road you're going down, and it's only going to lead to pain and regret for you. Can't you see how they're using you? It was glaringly obvious to me and everyone else at the club."

 _No no no no!_ Eren refuses to believe any of it.

"Look at me Eren." The order is clear but Eren just squeezes his eyes more tightly shut. The grip on his hip squeezes and the hand on his cheek moves to firmly take hold of his jaw. "I said _look_ at me, Eren."

Alarm bells are going off in Eren's head. He knows what that voice means. And as much as he tries to fight it, his survival instinct wins and he opens his eyes.

The thunderous expression on Jean's face softens, but only marginally. Because Eren still disobeyed a direct order. He can see what's coming next. It's like clockwork. He knows that punishment is imminent. He—

 _Knock knock knock._

"Eren?"

The sound of Erwin's voice is like a beacon, pulling him back to shore from the rocky and tumbling waves of Jean's manipulative thrall. It elicits a physical reaction in Eren, and he quickly rips himself away from Jean's hold. Eren expects to see more anger on Jean's face at the interruption. But instead, there is just that self-assured smirk.

"You will come see me tomorrow night Eren. Come see me, and I'll help you fix this mess that you have created for yourself."

Without another word, Jean moves to the door and unlocks it. The smirk is still firmly plastered on his face as he opens the door.

"Excuse me, gentlemen." Jean sweeps out of the apartment, and Eren can hear him descending the stairs as Erwin and Levi make their way inside.

But Eren doesn't even notice them. Because now his insides are roiling. Emotions are hitting him like icy rain pelting at his face, and for some reason he can't seem to turn himself away from it. There's a need. A deep, burning need to redeem himself in Jean's eyes. To "fix" whatever damage he has allegedly done to himself, to his life. Eren tries to shake it off, and suddenly that need quickly transforms into rage as Eren realizes that he has once again let himself be played with, let his emotions be manipulated. He can't tell if he's more furious with Jean for trying to come back into his life, or more furious at himself for letting the bastard force his way into Eren's mind once again. The rage then shifts into shame. Sickening shame as he realizes that three years away has done absolutely nothing to purge Jean's poison from his psyche. It was simply waiting, dormant, for Jean to amble back in and once more forcibly pull the reigns from Eren's hands.

* * *

From where Levi is standing, Eren appears to be attempting to tear himself apart. He's roughly pulling at his own hair, mumbling curses to himself, and moving throughout the room in short agitated bursts. He looks lost, but more than that, Levi gets the sense that Eren is trying very hard to hurt himself.

This suspicion is confirmed when he sees Eren's hand slip under the long sleeve of his shirt to pull at a rubber band and snap it against his wrist. Oddly, this makes Levi relax. Because as clueless as he is about most things regarding human interaction, this is the kind of behavior he's familiar with. A quick glance shared with Erwin strengthens his resolve, and Levi is calm and composed as he approaches the now trembling boy. Gently, he wraps his hands around Eren's, softly calling his name until he sees recognition flare in those eyes.

"Levi?"

His voice sounds so broken, and suddenly Levi knows exactly what Eren needs. Because it's what Levi has needed countless times on especially difficult days. There are many people, particularly in the BDSM scene, who use pain as a kind of coping mechanism. It can be quite therapeutic, sending the recipient into an almost zen-like trance.

There have certainly been several times over the last ten years when Levi has had an exceptionally stressful day. He'd get easily agitated, snap at Erwin for the smallest things, and dig his nails into the skin of his arm to get some relief. Erwin had picked up on it rather quickly—because that's just what Erwin does—and had started offering pain play for tension release. The rhythmic striking of the flogger and the smooth leather falls hitting his back had felt like a massage of sorts. Especially since Erwin didn't put nearly as much power behind the blows as he would have during a scene.

So Levi is fairly confident in his assumption as he attempts to gain some modicum of control over the current situation. When he speaks, his tone is gentle yet steady.

"Eren, would you like to come with Erwin and me? Get away from here for a bit?"

Eren's eyes dart from Levi's face to Erwin's, and then to the still-open front door. He looks terrified, as if expecting Jean to come back at any second. Levi can't imagine what it must be like to feel so vulnerable and at risk in one's own home. Eren gives a shaky nod to Levi's question, and lets himself be led out the door and down the stairs of the apartment building.

The car ride to Erwin's place is a quiet affair. Eren is somewhat subdued at first, but after about five minutes, Levi can see his agitation rising back to the surface. He starts snapping the rubber band against his wrist again, and that's when Levi reaches out and takes Eren's hand, purposefully digging his nails into the soft and sensitive skin on the inside of Eren's forearm. Immediately Eren relaxes into the touch, and Levi only feels more confident about his decision.

Erwin stays fairly uninvolved during everything. Levi knows that Erwin probably wants nothing more than to find Jean and break some bones, but Levi also knows that Erwin realizes how hurting Jean would not help Eren in any capacity right now. In fact, it would probably make the situation even worse. So, despite Erwin's obvious tension, he dutifully stays with Levi and Eren rather than drive off as soon as they exit the backseat of his car.

When they get into Erwin's living room, Eren is very obviously avoiding eye contact, fidgeting once more with his rubber band. Levi takes a deep breath. He's never done this for another person before. Any pain play he has engaged in previously has all been strictly that—play. But the usually unfamiliar feeling of empathy has welled up inside his chest, and Levi knows he can help Eren right now.

While Levi watches Eren, Erwin has retrieved the flogger he uses just for these instances. Eren's head snaps over to where Erwin and Levi are standing, and he stares at the soft leather with an intense hunger in his eyes. Soon though, his gaze moves from the flogger up to Levi's face.

"Please," he requests, voice tremulous.

Levi is relieved that he was actually right about this, and sets about positioning Eren to face the wall with his hands braced on either side of his head. The position is meant to be comfortable, and to not put any strain on a particular muscle group or another.

"This is not a scene, Eren," Levi says. "There is no need for safewords. If you want me to stop for any reason at all, just say so and I will." Eren's head bobs up and down in a nod before the boy's head just drops, and he starts taking even breaths. Levi's eyes dart over to where Erwin is sitting in the armchair, watching the proceedings with an intensity that empowers Levi rather than intimidating him. Levi takes a few deep breaths himself, before slinging the flogger over his shoulder to better free up his hands.

"May I remove your shirt?" he asks Eren as he approaches him. Rather than respond, Eren swiftly removes the shirt himself, tossing it onto the floor before bracing his hands against the wall once more.

"Please," he says again.

Levi reaches forward to rest his hand on the back of Eren's neck. When the boy predictably tenses up, Levi just softly strokes the skin until Eren's shoulders relax. Only then does Levi deem Eren ready, and he steps back to the proper distance before grasping the handle of the flogger once more. Despite his confidence that this will help Eren, Levi is still a bit nervous. Even though this isn't strictly a scene, it's the first time the three of them have done anything like this. The level of trust that Eren is placing in Levi right now is remarkable considering the kind of day the boy has had, and Levi feels honored that Eren is allowing him to do this for him.

"I'm going to start now," he says, raising the handle in one hand and gripping the ends of the leather tails in the other. The first blow that falls onto Eren's back is gentle, more of a caress than anything. Levi hears Eren's breath catch at the contact, and the boy arches his back in a silent yet obvious request for more.

Levi starts up a familiar pace, soothing in its predictable rhythm. After the first ten or so, he ups the power behind the blows just a bit. Eren takes it all beautifully, and when Levi sees his hands balling into fists to dig nails into his palm, he ups the power once more. He continues in this way, increasing the force of the blows every ten strikes or so, and he's gratified to see the way that Eren's fists slowly start to unclench and then eventually lay flat against the wall, head hanging in what Levi guesses is probably a meditative state.

Levi keeps an eye on how Eren's skin is reacting to the flogger, but just before he feels the need to stop in order to avoid trauma to the skin, a soft voice calls out.

"Stop."

Levi's hand drops immediately, the flogger hanging loosely in his grip. He shares a quick glance with Erwin, eyes darting to the kitchen and getting a nod in response, before he approaches Eren once more. He leaves the flogger on the arm of the nearest chair and reaches out to gently stroke at the reddened skin.

"Eren? Can you turn around for me?"

When Levi finally gets a glimpse of Eren's face, he's immediately relieved. Eren is wearing the same dazed and somewhat dopey expression that Levi usually sports after such sessions with Erwin. Levi smiles softly, reaching out for Eren's hands and tugging him to sit on the couch. Eren doesn't hesitate to snuggle face first into Levi's chest, snaking his arms around Levi's waist and holding on tight. Levi strokes his fingers through Eren's hair, basking in the knowledge that he has helped Eren today.

Soon Erwin is returning with a cup of juice in one hand and a small bottle of lotion in the other. When he sees Levi and Eren cuddled up on the couch, a smile graces his features—the first one Levi's seen since the phone call from Hanji. He kneels down next to the couch, bringing the straw of the cup near Eren's face.

"Can you take a few sips for me, Eren?" he asks, and Levi is utterly charmed by Erwin's gentle tone after the obvious fury that had been rolling off of him almost all day.

Eren grumbles in response, nuzzling his face against Levi's chest and not making a move to accept the juice. And as adorable as that is, Levi also knows that Eren probably needs the sugar right now. He gently tugs at Eren's hair.

"C'mon. Just a few sips, alright?"

Eren grumbles again but dutifully lifts his head to latch onto the straw. He sucks down half the juice in one go.

"Whoa there, easy," Erwin chuckles, and Eren slows down his sips until his lips just fall away from the straw. He's very clearly close to sleep. Levi imagines that Eren might not have slept very much in the last twenty-four hours.

"I'm going to rub some lotion on your back, alright?" Erwin asks softly, receiving a grunt in acknowledgement. He smiles again, and Levi's glad to see that this session helped more than just Eren.

Eren lets out a contented groan when Erwin starts rubbing the aloe lotion onto the reddened skin of his upper back.

"So nice…" he mumbles, arching his back like a cat. But despite his obvious enjoyment, about thirty seconds into the massage, his breathing goes deep and even as he drops off to sleep.

"You were perfect, angel," Erwin murmurs softly as he closes the cap on the lotion and puts it aside with the juice. Levi blushes a bit.

"C'mon, let's get him to bed," Levi says, gently pulling at Eren's arms to wind them around his neck rather than his waist. Eren lets out a deep sigh, but doesn't wake, and Levi slowly rises from the couch. It takes some careful maneuvering, but Levi prides himself on his strength despite his small stature. With Erwin's help, they get Eren into bed. Levi attempts to pull away so he can change into sleep clothes, but Eren starts to whine so Levi just settles into the bed. He supposes he can go without his sleep clothes for one night.

Erwin is still smiling when he joins Levi and Eren in the bed. He reaches over Eren's body to thread his fingers through Levi's hair.

"I'm so proud of you, angel. You handled today much better than I did."

And Levi knows that Erwin probably still wants to hunt Jean down, but lying here in bed, just the three of them, it's hard to focus on such things. Because tonight felt like another important step, and it's hard to believe that they had been at _Ludus_ together just the night before. So much has changed in such a short amount of time, and Levi wonders what's coming next. Because despite the progress they've made with Eren tonight, Levi knows that this situation is far from over.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: This chapter is 153% dedicated to username Perri Moone, whose encouraging words and wonderful comments kicked my ass into gear and inspired me to finally finish this chapter. Thank you, Moone! This one is for you.**

Eren wakes up slowly, feeling warm and content in a way he hasn't in a long time. It takes a few moments for his brain to get back online and for the memories of the previous day to come rushing back. Tentatively, he opens his eyes to find himself in the middle of a frankly massive bed. However, neither Erwin nor Levi is with him. But before any panic or feelings of abandonment can start to settle in, he hears footsteps approaching the bedroom door. He turns to find Levi standing at the foot of the bed with a plate in one hand and a glass of juice in the other. Eren's first thought is that Levi looks adorable with bed head.

"Er…hi." Eren curses how awkward he sounds, but last night was a genuinely new experience for him and he's still having a bit of a hard time processing it. Levi doesn't give him the chance to mull over his own words, though. Instead, he rounds to the side of the bed and places the plate and juice on the night table before climbing back into bed with Eren. Without a word, he pulls Eren close against his chest, making Eren feel small and vulnerable despite the fact that he's got quite a few inches on Levi.

They lay there together for a few minutes in silence. Eren hums as Levi's hand starts lightly stroking up and down his back in a calming rhythm, and he feels his body trying to tug him back into sleep, but he resists the urge.

"What time is it?" he asks.

"A little after eleven. I was just about to wake you up, seeing as we all went to bed fairly early last night." Levi's deep voice and soothing tone reminds Eren of their yoga classes and he can't help but smile.

"Thank you. For last night. I didn't realize how much I needed that." Eren buries his face into the crook of Levi's neck, too embarrassed to look him in the eye as he speaks. Levi huffs out a chuckle in response.

"How are you feeling? Any pain?" Soft fingers continue to trace the skin of Eren's upper back; so gentle that Eren can barely feel it.

"No. Not really." Eren lets out a deep sigh. He can't remember the last time he felt this at peace. "Where's Erwin?"

"He had to go to work but he wanted me to tell you that he hopes you're feeling better."

Eren hums in response, drifting off into a fog despite his initial resistance to sleep. Levi doesn't let him, though. Instead, he pulls away and tries to nudge Eren into a sitting position.

"You really need to eat something. I have eggs, toast, and apple slices. I wasn't sure what you would want." Eren watches the attractive stretch of Levi's muscles under pale skin as he leans over to grab the plate and juice from the bedside table. At the sight of food, Eren's stomach rumbles, reminding him that he hasn't eaten since his admittedly distracted lunch with Hanji and Petra.

It's not until he's polished off the eggs and toast that he catches the amused smirk on Levi's face. Immediately, Eren feels his cheeks flush and he forces himself to slow down.

"Would you like me to take you back to your place?" Levi asks as Eren starts in on the apple slices. His heart races at the thought of returning to the apartment. Levi must notice his wariness because he quickly continues. "Of course, you're welcome to stay here, but your phone has pinged a number of times. I imagine your sister is worried about you."

Guilt washes over Eren as he realizes that he still hasn't told Levi and Erwin about Armin staying with him. And no doubt Armin will be waiting at the apartment when Eren arrives with Levi. How will Eren explain his ex-boyfriend staying at his apartment and sleeping in his bed? He doesn't feel like it's his place to divulge what happened between Armin and Jean, but if no one knows then no one can help. And Eren wants help…right?

"I should probably get home…" he says before hesitantly continuing. "And…there's something you need to know…"

* * *

All things considered, Levi takes the news fairly well. Then again, Eren doesn't give all the details. He simply said that Armin wants to leave Jean and needs a place to stay for a little while. Levi remains stoic during the drive to Eren's apartment, but Eren's gotten used to Levi's resting bitch-face, and tries not to read too much into it. As they pull into the complex, Levi reaches over and places his hand on Eren's knee, and only then does Eren realize that his leg has been jumping up and down for about half the drive.

"Sorry," he says.

"Don't be. It's understandable. Try to imagine that there's a gun in your pocket."

That makes Eren look at Levi in both confusion and slight amusement.

"A gun in my pocket?"

As he pulls the car into a parking space, Levi's lips quirk in what Eren has learned to recognize as a smirk.

"Petra told me about it. A few years before she got together with Hanji she had been with…someone like Jean. Thomas. And Thomas was pretty persistent about getting her back after she broke up with him. At first it made her nervous to even leave her house because she was still pretty scared of him. But then she taught herself this little trick. Whenever she went out, she pretended that she was walking around with a gun in her pocket, even sometimes going as far as to carry around a small lead figurine to simulate the heft of a real gun. Her rationale was that imagining that you have a loaded gun in your pocket can help minimize any fear or paranoia you might have of other people, exes or otherwise. It was very effective, from what she told me."

"But she didn't actually have a gun. How does it help if you're not actually armed?"

At this, Levi smiles sadly before quickly wiping away the expression and turning to face Eren with a determined look in his eyes.

"Because the trick to dealing with people like Thomas and Jean is not relying on the gun that's in your pocket. It's relying on the gun that's in your mind." Levi reaches over the console again and presses his index finger to the middle of Eren's forehead. "As long as you have that gun in your mind, you won't need one in your pocket." Without another word, Levi pulls his hand back before opening the driver-side door and exiting the car. Eren's follows suit in awed silence.

When Eren opens the front door of his apartment, he's almost immediately assaulted with an armful of Armin.

When Armin speaks, his voice is raspy and somewhat dazed. " _Eren_ , you're back. Good. 'Kasa's been worried."

"And with good reason!" Mikasa's Big Sister voice rings loudly throughout the apartment. Far from making him feel like he's in trouble like it usually would, the sound of it makes Eren feel incredibly safe.

" _Mikasa!"_ Armin cries out, his voice cracking on the second syllable. He makes his way over to her before burying his face in her ever-present red scarf. "You're so soft…smell so good. Like cookies. Ooooh, can we make cookies?"

Despite Mikasa's obvious efforts to maintain a stern expression, Eren can see her small smile at Armin's antics.

"The doctor at the clinic gave him codeine for the pain," she says, wrapping an arm around Armin's waist to keep him from sliding down to the floor in a heap of uncoordinated limbs. "I told her it was a bad idea, but she insisted it would be more effective than regular painkillers."

Eren can't help but smile fondly at Armin. He looks happier than Eren's seen him since he arrived just a few nights ago. But that's no surprise. Armin's always been a bit of a lightweight when it comes to drugs or alcohol. However, Armin's behavior isn't enough to distract Mikasa, because within moments she turns her attention back on Eren.

"Where have you _been_? I've been so worried." Eren would make some comment about Mikasa's tendency to be a mother hen but he sees the genuine concern in her expression and refrains. Before he can respond to her question, though, Eren sees her eyes flit over to a point just past Eren's left shoulder.

"Oh! This is Levi by the way. He's my…" Eren trails off. Are they boyfriends? Are Erwin and Levi his boyfriends now? He can't say for sure right. They should probably discuss it first. So Eren says the first thing that comes to mind. "…Yoga instructor."

Well…it's not technically a lie.

"Yoga instructor. Right." Mikasa obviously doesn't buy it, but plays along all the same. "Nice to meet you, Levi."

Levi doesn't respond right away. Eren turns to him only to see Levi's sights zeroed in on Armin. More specifically, Armin's neck and the several bruises still visible there. The look he shoots Eren is indecipherable, but before Eren can properly analyze his expression, Levi is turning back to Mikasa.

"Nice to meet you—" Levi is promptly interrupted by the ringing of his phone. When he pulls it out of his pocket and sees whatever is on the screen, his expression turns agitated.

"Tch. I'm terribly sorry, but I have to go." He looks to Eren, and for a second Eren thinks he's going to hug him, but Levi just nods before turning and showing himself out.

When Eren turns back to Mikasa, she's gently depositing Armin on the couch. Almost immediately Armin grabs the throw blanket and rolls himself up.

"I am a _burrito_. I _live_ here now." Armin lets out a small giggle at his own joke before going still, humming contentedly.

"So are you going to tell me what happened last night?" Mikasa's Big Sister voice is back and Eren really doesn't want to deal with this right now.

"Later? I need to get some work done." He doesn't wait for a reply, just grabs his laptop off of the coffee table and heads to his room. After closing the door behind him, Eren just leaves his computer on his desk before falling into his bed, tired despite the good night's sleep he had last night. He'll just shut his eyes for a little while, and then he'll go talk to Mikasa. Just a little while…

* * *

Eren jolts awake, blinking into the darkness of his bedroom. As his vision adjusts, he can make out a faintly Armin-shaped figure standing next to his bed.

"Eren?" Armin's voice is still raspy, but not dazed like it was earlier.

"Armin? What time is it?"

"A little after 4. Mikasa went out to meet with her co-workers and catch up on what she missed at work today."

Good, that gives Eren more time to avoid answering Mikasa's questions. But he won't be able to dodge her forever. Which means…

"Now that you are able to talk, I think there are some things we probably need to discuss before Mikasa gets back." Eren sits up in bed, rubbing his eyes.

"That's actually why I woke you up. There are…things that I really need to tell you about. Sooner rather than later."

Eren reaches over to turn on the bedside lamp, before gesturing for Armin to sit. He watches how gingerly Armin is still moving as he situates himself on the bed. He most likely refrained from taking another dose of codeine so he could be coherent for this conversation.

"I think we're in serious danger, Eren."

The words are like a punch to the gut, and Eren's instinct tells him to get as far away from this discussion as possible. But he knows that it needs to happen. He needs to know what they're dealing with here.

"Why's that?" he asks warily.

Armin draws in a shaky breath before responding.

"I got a text from Jean today."

Another punch to the gut. Eren forces himself to ask the question.

"What did it say?"

He can tell right away that Armin doesn't want to answer the question. He's fidgeting and not making eye contact. Eren lets him take his time.

"It said ' _step three in progress_.'"

Confusion and dread hit Eren simultaneously. The words sound so ominous, and he doesn't even know what they mean.

"Armin, I need you to explain this to me."

"You have to understand, I was terrified. He kept saying it was my fault and I did my best but it wasn't working. And every time I failed he would—"

"Armin," Eren interrupts before Armin can work himself up into a panic. "Please, take a deep breath." Armin does. "I need you to start at the beginning."

With a nod, Armin takes another deep breath and then starts over.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: This story is no longer a part of the APEP universe. After some serious thought, I've decided that the outcome of this plot would not result in the kind of relationship depicted in APEP. Starting today (1/23/17) the new title of this story is _Here and Now_. Enjoy the new chapter!**

The night that Eren left them was one of initially utter confusion and then devastating heartbreak for Armin. When Jean came back upstairs, Armin looked up at him from where he was still tied with his arms behind his back and his legs bent at the knee.

"Where did Eren go?" he asked, confused.

"Eren left," was Jean's short reply.

"Is he coming back?"

The look that Jean gave him at that moment was terrifying.

"No."

"Why?"

The questions—reasonable as they were—seemed to only make Jean angrier.

"He left because of you, Armin."

The words were like a physical blow. Almost immediately, Armin started struggling in his bonds, trying to free himself. Before he could make any progress, though, Jean's warm and heavy hand was pushing him back down and stilling his movements. Knowing the silent warning for what it was, Armin ceased his efforts at once.

"What did I do wrong?"

"You didn't tell him that I changed the rules, Armin."

If this statement was meant to clear up any confusion, it failed. In fact, it had exactly the opposite effect.

"You said that _you_ told him you changed the rules. And that he had been fine with it. And that tonight would be okay. Was that a lie?" Armin was starting to panic now. Because if Jean hadn't in fact told Eren that he'd changed the rules, then he could only imagine what it had looked like when Eren had walked in only minutes ago. He could actually imagine it all too well. It had looked like cheating.

"Jean, please untie me now."

Jean made no acknowledgement that he had heard Armin at all. Instead, he walked over to the kitchen to get a bottle of beer out of the refrigerator. Armin watched as Jean slowly sipped his drink, staring at the front door and ignoring Armin completely.

Now thoroughly panicking, Armin once again tried to wiggle himself free of the tight ropes. The ones around his wrists were starting to cut off his circulation. The struggling caught Jean's attention immediately and seemed to make him even angrier. He chugged down the rest of his beer before smashing it into the sink. Armin winced at the sound of shattering glass and doubled his efforts to get free. Jean was scaring him. Without a word, Jean stormed over and picked up Armin off of the couch before carrying him over to the ceiling rig.

"Jean, wait. This rope work isn't meant for suspension play. It's dangerous. Jean stop!" Jean ignored him completely. He calmly clipped Armin into the ceiling rig before hoisting him up with the pulley. Armin let out a sharp cry at the harsh tugging at his wrists and ankles.

"Red! Red! Safeword! Please, Jean stop it hurts!"

A hand circled his throat and squeezed until Armin could barely breathe.

"Did you just try to use a safeword, Armin?" Another hand fisted in his hair and pulled sharply, forcing his head back and making breathing even more difficult. He stared up in terror at Jean's face. His boyfriend looked slightly unhinged at the moment. "You know you don't actually _have_ a safeword, don't you? We never _agreed_ for you to have a safeword." The hand around his throat tightened even more, and Armin felt his vision blur and darken. Then both hands were gone, leaving Armin's head hanging down as he coughed and tried to regain his breath. Right as he was starting to get it under control, a rubber ball was being forced into his mouth and secured into place with a strap around his head. Armin started shaking his head and trying to push the ball out with his tongue. He hated gags.

"That should keep you from trying something so foolish again."

With that, Jean walked back over to the kitchen. Armin couldn't really see what he was doing, but he could hear the clinking of glass. Moments later Jean came back with the broken bottle shards wrapped in a dishrag. With a smile, he started scattering the pieces on the floor right underneath where Armin was hanging from the rig. Armin didn't dare move anymore, staring down at the broken pieces with trepidation.

With a satisfied nod, Jean stepped back and surveyed the set up he had put Armin in.

"That should keep you from moving around too much. One little slip of rope is all it would take, Armin. I'd be careful if I were you." Tears were running down Armin's face in a constant stream now. Jean tsked at him. "There there, baby. This is necessary. You need to be punished for sending Eren away. You're not going anywhere."

Jean went back to the kitchen and took another beer from the refrigerator before plopping himself down on the couch to watch Armin.

The pull of the rope made all the joints in his arms burn; the ball gag made it hard to breath, especially at this angle; the jagged shards of glass on the floor terrified him, and in his mind he saw an image of him bloodied with a slashed open stomach. But most of all, the pain of Eren's absence left Armin feeling hollow. He was gone, and Armin had never felt so alone.

Jean left him there for a few hours. The pain radiating from his arms was constant, only getting worse as time passed. It was the most horrible thing that Jean had ever done to him.

When Jean was satisfied that Armin had been thoroughly punished, he took his time collecting the pieces of broken glass from the floor, and even went as far as to take out the vacuum cleaner to ensure that all of it was gone. Only then did he lower Armin down to the ground and slowly start undoing his bonds.

Armin discovered that the only thing more painful than being suspended by his arms for hours on end was being untied from it. His arms felt heavy and sore once untied, and Armin couldn't move a muscle without feeling another stab of pain. Once the rope was gone and the ball gag was out, Jean carefully gathered him into his arms before carrying him to the bathroom. Gently, he lowered Armin into the already-full bathtub, and the warm water felt like a blessing to Armin's sore muscles and joints. Jean meticulously cleaned and massaged Armin's body, making sure not to jostle him too much. Then he just let Armin soak in the water for a bit as he shuffled around the bathroom gathering towels and clean clothes. Then after about fifteen minutes, Jean carefully lifted Armin out of the tub and wrapped him in a soft towel, drying him off gently. He helped him into his pajamas, and then brought him to bed, where he pulled Armin close and pressed soft kisses to his face. Armin let himself settle, content in the gentle treatment and aftercare. They lay there for a few minutes, and Armin was just starting to drift off to sleep when Jean spoke.

"You're moving in with me, baby. You're going to move in with me, and we're going to win him back. We're going to fix this mess you've made. I promise."

* * *

After the first few attempts at winning Eren back failed, Jean decided that it was Armin's job to get him to come back.

"It's your fault he's gone, baby. It only makes sense that you're the one who's going to have to win him back. I believe in you. I won't let you fail."

Apparently not letting Armin fail meant punishing him every time he came back from an attempt without Eren in tow. At first it was just a thorough spanking, but as time went on and Jean's impatience escalated, so did the punishments. So much so that the punishment he'd received the night Eren left soon became Jean's favorite way of punishing Armin for his failings.

Despite how awful the consequences of his failures were, Armin purposefully did not put much effort into winning Eren back on the days he was instructed to do so. He'd seen the other side of Jean. The side that Eren had been hinting at for months before he'd left. The side that Armin had thought was the exception to Jean's behavior, not the rule. But he knew otherwise, now. And he still loved Eren very much. So there was no way that he was going to do anymore than the bare minimum requirements Jean called for in winning Eren back. He knew that not being with Jean was the best thing for Eren. And if keeping Eren away from Jean's poisonous influence meant Armin taking more punishment for himself, then so be it.

After about a year and a half of failures, Jean began what he liked to refer to as his "Three Step Plan" in winning Eren back.

"Step one," he had explained, "is figuring out how Eren is spending his time away from home. I don't like dealing with Mikasa. She's too nosy and gets in the way. If you're going to have a shot at getting him back for us, we're going to have to try while he's not with her."

That's how Armin and Jean found out that Eren had started frequenting various BDSM clubs in the area. At first, when they learned that Eren had started playing with other people, Armin was worried that Jean would flip out. However, Jean had calmly explained that Eren wasn't getting attached to anyone in particular. "He needs the play but he misses us too much to get involved with anyone else long-term," Jean had explained. Armin wasn't so sure how accurate that assessment was, but by now he knew better than to argue with Jean.

Once they had a reasonably accurate knowledge of how Eren spent his time away from home, Jean announced that they could proceed with step two.

"Step two is making contact. We're going to _Ludus_ tonight and we're going to talk to him there. You'll be wearing this." Jean then presented a black leather collar and leash. Armin had made a face at the accessories but didn't argue.

Logically, Armin knew that it wasn't _his_ fault that Eren had caught sight of them at _Ludus_ first that night. But Jean had punished him all the same, claiming that Armin had blown their cover before they'd had a chance to get Eren by himself.

Armin's a smart person. He knew very early on that Jean's "punishments" were simply justifications for abuse. And he knew that staying with Jean was probably the worst thing for him. But he also knew that if he left Jean, there'd be no one tracking Jean's movements. And an unmonitored Jean seemed far too dangerous for Armin to leave him.

The day that Armin went over to Eren's apartment, Jean had driven him there.

"I don't care if Mikasa is home. I want you to go in there and don't leave until you have the chance to talk to him. I don't like the looks of those two guys he's been spending time with. He's getting far too close to them. You better not screw this up, Armin. You'll be in a world of hurt if you do."

Mikasa was kind, though obviously wary. Armin wasn't sure how much Eren had told her about what happened, but it couldn't have been much if she was willing to invite him inside and offer him tea.

Of course, after so much time of just sending texts or e-mails, Armin couldn't have prepared himself for seeing Eren walk through the front door.

The subsequent interaction was both anti-climactic and incredibly difficult for Armin. It took everything he had not to just blurt out all the planning that Jean had been doing over the last three years. But the thought of what kind of punishment would get added onto what was already in store for him when he came back to Jean with news of yet another failure stopped him.

When Eren abruptly dismissed him, Armin didn't even have to fake the tears rolling down his face.

* * *

Everything came to a head when Jean went to follow Eren and the two older men he was with to _Ludus_. Armin had stayed home, still sore from his most recent punishment and not wanting anyone to see his scrapes and bruises. Most people experienced in BDSM play could easily tell the difference between play wounds and abuse wounds, and he was not keen on giving anyone the chance to determine which kind of wounds he had.

When Jean stumbled into the apartment later that night, drunk beyond belief and grumbling about bitchy club owners, Armin resigned himself to his fate. Especially when Jean's eyes locked onto him. Armin knew that look.

"It's all your fault, Armin. You drove him away and failed to bring him back. And now he's being taken advantage of and manipulated into another relationship. It's all your fault!" With that, Jean lunged for him. Armin didn't even try to run.

Later that night, while Jean slept off the obscene amount of alcohol he'd consumed at the club, Armin was shivering and silently crying inside of his cage.

Jean had bought the cage around the time they discovered that Eren was frequenting the bondage clubs in the area. Armin hated the cage, but it was Jean's favorite place to put him after a particularly intense punishment.

Just like when Jean had demanded that Armin move in, the cage was simply another tool Jean used to keep Armin from running away the same way that Eren had.

Of course, Armin wasn't an idiot. So almost immediately after Jean brought the cage home, Armin had a spare key made and taped it to the underside of the cage. He hadn't felt the need to use it yet, but after tonight he couldn't stand it anymore.

He was quick about it, despite the limp in his step and the incredible pain any movement caused. After hastily sliding on the loosest pair of sweatpants and the lightest t-shirt he could find, he grabbed his book bag and blindly stuffed in some extra clothes, his computer, and his phone. Without a glance back at Jean's sleeping form on the bed, Armin made his way quickly to the front door and quietly let himself out.

The whole escape had only taken a matter of minutes, but it still felt like the biggest victory Armin had ever achieved.

He called a cab, and his voice was so broken that he had to repeat the pick-up address three times before the person on the other end of the phone could understand him. He'd had to stop and think before telling the cabbie his destination. He had no family, and any friends he'd ever had were pushed away when Armin moved in with Jean. The only person he could think of who would understand to some degree what he'd been going through was the one person who, understandably, didn't want anything to do with him. However, it was Armin's only option. If Eren turned him away, then he'd stay at a motel until he was able to make more permanent arrangements.

Armin was both fairly surprised and not surprised at all when Eren only took one look at him before hurrying him inside. Eren had a heart of gold, and Armin had a feeling that regardless of how their romantic relationship had panned out, Eren missed Armin's friendship just as much as Armin missed Eren's.

Now, though, Armin is quickly coming to the realization that leaving Jean isn't going to be that easy. Because Jean has managed to carry out step two without Armin's help. And if step three is in progress, then Armin and Eren are in serious danger. Because step three is the last step.

Only three little words, but they say so much.

Step three: bring him home.


End file.
